Perseverance
by BrokenEmber
Summary: [COMPLETE] Garrus and Shepard are finally together and it seems too good to be true. Garrus is going to be the new Primarch and they're getting married. Of course, more complications arise, including Shepard's violent past and what happened with Liara, and everything is put on hold. Will they persevere through it or will their relationship unravel because of it? Post Unraveling.
1. Volcano

Shepard closed her eyes and sighed. It was insane, really. She tried to ignore the rough pangs of jealously that flowed through her as Liara sat between herself and her fiance.  
_  
_She was discussing layouts of the wedding and had blueprints for the design, but Shepard couldn't listen. Her eyes moved to Liara's hands as the asari shifted and brushed her hand against Garrus' thigh accidentally, six times in a row, or the way her eyes lit up every time Garrus complimented her work and the tone of her voice and how it lowered slightly when she mentioned the honeymoon plans.

_Why is she planning our honeymoon? Did Garrus ask her for extra help?  
_  
"What do you think, Shepard?"

Shepard's knuckles were white, "I do like the design. It's very...plain and simple. I don't like extravagant."

_I did ask her to do this. She agreed. I can act like a mature adult. Yes. I can._

She tuned out the rest of Liara's ideas and noted how tight and revealing her blouse was. It showed a bit too much cleavage for her tastes. She self-consciously looked at her shirt. It was just a plain black tank-top with the Normandy emblem on it. She sighed and suddenly felt boring and plain. She had set fire to all of the outfits Miranda gave her for that Simmons mission. They were so expensive and Miranda was so upset. She smiled at the memory and stood.

"Would you like something to drink, Liara?" Shepard began walking to kitchen. They rented an apartment on Palaven until Garrus was finished with all the legalities of becoming Primarch. It apparently was a ridiculous ordeal, with so many traditions and rules...and he was breaking the most sacred one; marriage, to a non-clan member.

Fuck, a completely different species, at that.

She sighed and pulled out three glasses of the glass cabinet and decided she needed an actual drink.

One of her first _real _drinks since she was seventeen years old.

"Water, please, Shepard." Liara called lightly.

"Same here, babe."

Shepard grinned and poured two glasses of water and filled the third with vodka and orange juice.

She carried the three glasses back into the living room and happily took a sip as she sat down.

Oh god, it was so good. She sighed happily and smiled at Liara and Garrus.

Garrus grinned and took a sip of his water and placed the cup on the table.

"So, I was also thinking that we could add a fountain in the middle of the veranda."

Shepard raised her eyebrow as she took another long sip.

"Fountain?"

Liara nodded, "Yes. A fountain. I have the layout here." She pulled up her omni-tool and displayed it on the table as she reached for her glass and took a sip.

"I've also thought that this ceremony would be a lot better than just eloping, Shepard," Garrus commented, glancing at his bride-to-be.

Shepard nodded, "I know how important this is to you, Garrus. You want a traditional turian clan ceremony."

The turian nodded and placed his talon on Shepard's knee and lightly squeezed, "I'm glad you don't mind."

She snorted, "Please, Garrus. It's not like I had any plans. Marriage by Elvis did sound fun, but this is way more practical."

He smiled a turian smile and looked back at Liara's design.

"So you can see here that.."

Shepard glanced at her tattooed ring and sighed as she took another sip. She actually almost wanted a big diamond, just to really show the galaxy she was with the soon-to-be Primarch of Palaven. Another sip and she glanced at the remains of her glass and pursed her lips. She had about two more gulps left and she would need them on her trip back to the kitchen to pour herself another glass.

"I think I'm hungry, Garrus," Shepard announced awkwardly as she glanced at Garrus. He nodded and smiled politely at Liara, "We can go over the rest of your seating arrangements tomorrow."

_Seating arrangements?_

Shepard smiled at Liara, trying to sugarcoat her tone, "Thanks so much, Liara. We'll discuss everything else tomorrow, if that's alright."

The asari blinked, faked a smile and nodded, "Yes, that's fine." She picked up her blueprints and rolled them up and carried them underneath her arm.

"I'll show you out, Liara." Garrus offered, leading her out of the living room and to the foyer of the apartment.

Shepard downed the rest of her drink and walked back into the kitchen and poured herself another drink. She knew Garrus could sense the animosity; the way it was practically shedding out of her, she could almost smell it. Vodka was liquid courage and she downed the glass. She needed it now.

Garrus walked in and saw Shepard pouring herself a third drink, her hands shaking.

"Shepard. Why did you treat her like that? I mean...you asked her to be the planner."

Shepard took a sip, "Garrus, honestly," her voice kind of slurred. Fuck, she was a light-weight. She shook her head and topped off the glass.

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, waiting for her to continue.

She sauntered towards him, taking a long sip before setting the glass down on the counter.

"I know I asked her to do this," she started with that. It made sense; she did in fact have pure recollection of her request, even drunk. It didn't seem to be a month and a half ago.

"And then you make her feel uncomfortable under your harsh scrutiny?"

Shepard snorted and reached for her glass, "Garrus, those plans were shit and you know it. Why...the fuck would I want a water fountain?" She took a small sip, "I'm not having my goddamned aquarium at the wedding. Fountains only belong in parks on Illium with blue children."

Garrus blinked, "That's like saying only Earth has trees because of all the humans."

She raised her glass almost as if in a toast before commenting dryly, "How do you know that's not the reason?" She finished her drink and moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and inhaled her scent. She reeked of vodka, but her vanilla shampoo scented her black hair beautifully.

"I...just don't want to lose you," she whispered and looked down at her feet.

"Shepard," he gently lifted her chin with his talon, "I'll always be here. There is no Vakarian without Shepard."

She smiled fondly at the memory and intertwined her right hand with his. She got on her tip-toes and kissed him.

He released her hand and placed his talons through her hair. He deepened the kiss and closed his eyes. She groaned and he moved his talons to the back of her thighs and lifted her in one motion. She wrapped her legs around him and smiled.

Shepard giggled and kissed his forehead as he carried her to their bedroom. He placed her on the bed and grinned.

He took off his light blue undergarment and flung it over his head. She unhooked her bra and slipped off her black tank top and sweats. Garrus crawled on top of her and placed his forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes and he was about to fit inside her when they snapped open.

"What's wrong?" He paused a few inches away from her and blinked.

"Please get off of me."

Garrus lightly rolled to his side and looked at Shepard. He placed his talon on her waist and she pulled him close.

Her lower lip quivered as she fought the internal volcano that threatened to erupt.

"I...can't. I'm...so..sorry."

"Woah...hon, no. No. It's okay." He gently massaged her side and she shook her head.

"No. It really isn't," she whispered before getting up and walking to the bathroom.

She closed the door, turned the shower on and Garrus heard sobs even over the running water.

* * *

**A/N: **Poor Shepard. She can't help her past...or Garrus', for that matter.

Anyways, review please.

_BrokenEmber_


	2. Reminiscence

**A/N: **A few songs to listen to during this chapter for mood music, if you're interested. "Ticking Bombs," "Secrets Between Us," "Two Letter Sins" and "Where I Want to be" by Eyes Set to Kill. (Yeah, I kinda like them. Can you tell?) **_Please review! _**

* * *

Liara looked at herself in the long mirror of her apartment and nodded in approval. The black strapless gown clung to her tightly, like an second skin. It was just a formal ball for the acceptance of Garrus into the Turian Hierarchy.

She sighed and smoothed out the gown and stepped into her expensive black heels. A quick application of gloss and mascara made her shine. She smiled. She looked really good.

She grabbed her purse and grinned. This party shouldn't be that horrible...

* * *

"How do I look, Garrus?"

Shepard was stunning in a dark red halter dress and gold heels. A gold choker was around her neck, her nails were painted black. She had black eyeliner and mascara on and lipgloss.

He wrapped his arms around her and grinned, "Absolutely amazing." She was just as tall as him now with her heels and he laughed.

"You're not half bad yourself, soon-to-be-Primarch Vakarian." He was in the turian equivalent of a tuxedo.

Garrus smirked a turian smirk, "Not half bad, eh?"

She lightly punched his arm and rolled her eyes, "Yeah, grasshopper. Not half bad."

He feigned hurt in both his voice and on his face, "Grasshopper?"

Shepard rolled her eyes and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her back and grinned.

"Better?" She fluttered her eyelashes at him coyly.

"Much, soon-to-be-Mrs. Vakarian." He leaned her down and she giggled. He kissed her again and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He broke the kiss and whispered in her ear, "I think we should get going. If you keep distracting me..."

Shepard grinned and kissed his mandible and his shoulder, "Don't you like my distractions, Mr. Vakarian?"

He lifted her up and smiled and kissed her again, "More than anything, my lovely fiance, but we have somewhere to be."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. But you owe me a dance at the ball, Vakarian."

He extended his arm and they wrapped around each other as he led her out the apartment.

* * *

The Palaven night sky was stunning. The stars still took her breath away, even though she'd been flying around them her entire life.

She glanced over at Garrus, whom was driving their personal black and blue skycar. It was given to them for free, courtesy of the Alliance.

"I really miss the Normandy," she whispered quietly.

He removed one talon from the wheel and found hers and brought it to his mouth. He kissed it gently.

"We'll get her back, Shepard. They won't be able to refuse you since you turned down the Council position. You're the most qualified solider the Alliance will ever have. They should be begging for you to come back."

She scoffed and gently pulled her hand back, "Yeah, so far, nobody's groveling and asking for my forgiveness for fucking banishing me."

He placed his talon back on the wheel and sighed, "Shepard, after the war, everyone thought you were dead. It takes a while for the galaxy to recover from that."

"It's been almost three months, Garrus," she narrowed her eyes. "Just because I've been reinstated...doesn't mean I'm approved."

"You saved the galaxy, Shepard. There's nothing else you can do. Why can't you just...retire? Why must you always fight for everyone?"

She smoothed out her dress and replied coldly, "It's the only thing I know, Garrus. It's the only thing I'm good at. I'm obviously not fit to be a mother."

Garrus practically slammed on the breaks and pulled over. He gripped her shoulders.

"Goddamnit, Shepard! You need to get over it. It wasn't your fault...and we can always try again..."

Shepard looked up at him and smiled weakly, "It completely goes against everything...scientifically correct. It wasn't even meant to happen. That's why I lost her."

He froze, "Her?"

"Yeah," she nodded and twiddled her thumbs together, "It was a girl."

Garrus leaned back in his chair and almost began hyperventilating. She placed her hand on his chest, her hand glowing with biotics and whispered, "Calm down, Garrus. Please."

He really wish turians could shed tears, "I've always wanted a daughter, Shepard." His voice was soft and he reached for her cheek, his thumb gently tracing it. "We...should try again. Please."

She kissed his thumb, "Okay. After the wedding."

He nodded and began driving again.

When they arrived at the ball, Garrus stepped out and opened the door for his lovely lady. She smiled at him and grabbed his hand as he gently pulled her up. He wrapped his talon around her waist as they walked to the large mansion.

She whistled, "A girl could get used to going to huge mansions with her hubby."

He grinned, "I'll buy you one, my love, once I'm Primarch."

She laughed, but knew in her heart, she didn't want to be planet side. She wanted to be with the stars again.

She missed the stars, more than she could explain. She'd never tell him this, of course.

Shepard smiled at him, "Well, let's get inside. I'm freezing."

"One second," Garrus whispered, reaching into his pocket for something. He felt it and smiled, "Okay, let's go in."

Shepard raised her eyebrow but figured he'd tell her when he was ready. She gripped his hand and they headed for the door.

The bright golden chandelier illuminated the ballroom beautifully.

"Garrus!"

It was Solana, his sister.

"Sol!" He released Shepard's hand and his sister pulled him into an embrace.

"Why is it that I found out about you being asked to become Primarch through the news and not from my brother?" Her tone was filled with accusation and she put her hands on her hips.

Garrus grinned, "I'm sorry. I've been busy." Solana noticed Shepard standing there awkwardly.

"Oh, Spirits. Shepard!"

The Commander grinned and Solana hugged her. "I'm so happy everything worked out for you two."

Shepard was about to thank her when Garrus' father walked towards them. She blinked and fought the instinct to salute and instead hastily grabbed her turian's talon.

"Garrus." He nodded towards his son, "You must be Commander Shepard, the savior of the galaxy. What an honor it is to finally meet you."

She released her grip on Garrus' hand and extended it to Sir Vakarian, "The honor is mine, Mr. Vakarian."

"Please, call me Tarok." He shook her hand and looked at Garrus, "I see turian females were too boring for you. You went after the strongest human female in the galaxy."

Shepard grinned and Garrus wrapped his talon protectively around her waist and nodded, "She's just perfect for me, dad."

Tarok nodded, "I'm glad. She certainly has proven herself by saving the galaxy. I'll see you later, Garrus. Shepard." He nodded to them both and walked away.  
Shepard blinked at Garrus.

"Well, I'm glad he approves."

Garrus chuckled nervously, "It may be a front, Shepard. I haven't spoken to my father in a while. It's...been complicated."

She nodded, understanding, "Well, is there anyone else I should meet?"

Garrus shook his head, "My mother wasn't able to come...she's not feeling well. Perhaps at the wedding, you can finally meet her."

Shepard smiled and squeezed his arm, "I'd like that. Now, let's get ourselves a drink before-"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for our future Primarch, Garrus Vakarian!"

They walked together towards the host, the previous Primarch, Victus.

"I'm also pleased to announce the return of our savior, Commander Shepard!"

Shepard smiled and waved, looking through the crowd only to find cold clear eyes analyzing her, unimpressed.

Liara.


	3. Acceptance

Shepard sighed and looked at her black painted nails as Garrus spoke to turians in the Heirarchy. She sat at a round table, not really sure of who to talk to.

An asari waitress walked over with a bottle of champagne and refilled her glass half-way.

"Oh, can you leave the bottle?" Shepard asked hopefully.

The waitress nodded and Shepard poured herself a full glass and drank greedily. She wondered if she could drink an entire bottle and nobody would ever notice. Garrus was busy with political figures...

He glanced over at her and winked, she smirked and gave him a thumbs up and took a long sip. God, she felt like all she did now was drink and waste time. She fucking hated it.

She twitched her hand and placed the glass down, the bubbly down her throat. She grabbed the bottle and took a swig. Everyone probably assumed she was just a wounded veteran that drinks heavily to escape reality, when that simply wasn't the case.

She sighed. She hadn't slept in what felt like a year. She was exhausted. Half-dying didn't count as sleep. She had dreamed and remembered everything.

That's not sleeping. That's reliving your past.

She took another swig and realized the dreadful silence that filled the room.

Everyone vanished. She blinked and looked for Garrus, he wasn't here. Neither was Liara.

_Shepard._

That voice. That fucking mechanical, horrifying voice.

_Shepard._

She rubbed her temples. That voice.

The Illusive Man just shot Anderson.

Well, technically, she just shot Anderson.

No, no. No, fuck no. It was the Reapers. She didn't want to kill Anderson. No.

She reached for the bottle and took another sip.

_Shepard._

Her lip quivered. Was she losing her mind? Fuck.

A sweeter voice.

Female.

_Mommy._

She blinked and everything was normal. The room was full, Garrus was by her side.

"Shepard?"

She was shaking. His talon was on her shoulder.

"Shepard!"

She smiled at him, "Hey."

Garrus narrowed his eyes, "Don't 'hey' me. What just happened?"

Shepard shrugged, "Not really sure. I'd really like to leave. Would you mind?"

He shook his head, "Not at all. This party is kind of boring...and I'd much rather get you out of that dress."

She laughed and smiled, "Okay, deal."

"I'm making a speech in a while. Can you wait until after?"

She grinned, "Of course, my love. I'll be fine. Just...I'd really like something to eat so I don't get too hungover. Oh, and water."

Garrus smiled.

"Alright. I'll find a waitress." He walked away and she was left with her thoughts.

_What the fuck just happened?_

She sighed and looked at the bottle, realizing it was empty. She groaned and placed her head in her hands. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"I'm not sure you should drink anymore, Shepard."

Liara sat down next to her, batting her long eyelashes.

Shepard sighed and sat up straight, her eyes glaring at the asari, "What are you doing here, Liara?"

Liara spread her arms in exasperation, gesturing to the room, "Can't a girl go to a party without being interrogated?"

The Spectre narrowed her eyes and finally a waitress brought her a plate of salmon and a glass of water. "Thank you," she nodded and grabbed her folk then glanced at Liara. She suddenly lost her appetite.

Her eyes were locked on Garrus as he walked up to the stage. The light shined on him, his eyes glowing.

"I'd like to thank the former Primarch Victus for throwing this fabulous party." There was an round of applause and Shepard gave him a whistle of approval.  
Garrus chuckled, "I'd also like to thank my lovely fiance for coming here with me tonight." He gestured towards her and the spotlight shined on her. Shepard smiled and there was an even louder applause and she thought she heard Solana scream "Go girl!"

The light returned to Garrus and he began his speech.  
"When I first joined my fiance in battle, I was an young, naive C-Sec officer. I didn't like the regulations or rules that I was expected to abide by. Too much red-tape and politics." His voice was playful.

He heard his father clear his throat and he closed his eyes and continued.

"We chased after a rogue Spectre and his army of mindless synthetics. We tracked him to Ilos and killed him on the Citadel. It was quick and dirty. Nobody asked questions, nobody really cared. For a while, the galaxy believed in the Reaper threat." He took a deep breath and reached for his glass of dextro whiskey and took a small sip.

"Then I lost my Commander when the Collectors destroyed the Normandy and the galaxy was stupefied. All of her warnings were knocked down as myths and when she came back to get help against the Collectors, everyone turned their backs on her because she was allied with Cerberus. She found me on Omega and rescued me from a life of vigilantism." His eyes met Shepard's and he saw her expression. Her eyebrow was raised, a smirk on her lips.  
He took another sip and smirked lightly, "We took down the Collectors, all thanks to the guidance of the brilliant woman that I'm marrying. That still wasn't enough to convince anyone and they locked up her for the Alpha Relay incident, tossing all of her evidence aside until the Reapers attacked. I was on Menae when she came and rescued me for a third time," his voice lowered a little, "Shepard saved me again. She's the only reason I pushed through it all and am standing here now, embarrassing her with my rant."

The crowd giggled and Shepard rolled her eyes.

"She is..." their eyes locked, "the love of my life and I don't know what I'd do without her. On behalf of the heroine of the galaxy, Primarch Victus, my father, mother and sister and those who lost their lives to the Reapers, I accept the Heirarchy's proposal. Perhaps I can make our home safer as the new Primarch of Palaven."

There was an pregnant pause before the crowd burst into applause.

Shepard stood and wiped a small tear from her eye, awed as other people followed suit and stood, clapping furiously.

She mouthed, "I love you." He waved one last time and stepped off the stage.

"I love you more," he whispered as her approached her, resting his forehead on hers. She kissed him gently and he held her.

"Shall we go, my dearest?"

She laughed and nodded, "Okay."

Shepard reached for her purse and was about to walk away when he called, "Wait!"

She turned around and sighed, exasperated, "Garrus...what is it?"

He smiled and reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

He got on one knee and she gasped.

"My Shepard, my strong, brave, invincible beauty, will you do the honor of being a boring Primarch's wife?"

She extended her left hand, "Well, since you asked so nicely." He slipped the small diamond ring on her finger and she grabbed his collar and pulled him up.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, subconsciously lifting her heel.

He grinned and pulled away from the kiss, whispering in her ear, "Let's get home, shall we?"

Shepard kissed him again, "I thought you'd never ask."

As they walked out, Shepard heard a voice again. Only it sounded like Anderson's...

_Be careful, Shepard.  
_

* * *

**A/N: **What is wrong with Shepard? (well...I know) but what do YOU guys think? Is Liara really as evil as she thinks? What exactly is going on?  
Oh, you'll find out later. I won't spoil anything.

Annnnyways. :D

Please review!

_BrokenEmber_


	4. Eruption

**A/N: **I feel like I should warn you there is** _sex_ **in this chapter and this is the first real sex scene I've ever written. I hope it isn't too awful. Oh, if that isn't your thing, skip to the end of the page but this is rated M for a reason.

* * *

Shepard couldn't sleep. She sighed and slipped the sheets off and flipped the pillow to the other side. She shrugged her head into the pillow and turned her omni-tool on.

It was six thirty A.M. She'd been awake all night.

She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Why couldn't she sleep? It was ridiculous. Since the party last night...nothing felt right. She didn't feel right. Hell, the only time she slept was in surgery and when she was under the rubble on the Citadel. She sighed and looked at the clock again. 6:32.

She blinked and decided she'd make coffee. It would give her something to do. Garrus rolled over and grabbed her hand and she smiled.

"Hey."

"Hey you. I'm going to make some coffee. Do you want some?" He nodded and slowly got up, yawning.

Shepard stood and slipped on her black and red robe. Their kitchen wasn't far from their bedroom, considering the size of the apartment, so it wasn't that long of a walk before she reached the kitchen sink.

They had two coffee pots, for two different versions of coffee; dextro and amino. She blinked and filled the two pots with water and poured it into the machine.

"Did you sleep?" His voice asked gently as he grabbed the two bags of ground coffee beans from the pantry. One was blue, the other red.

She shook her head, "Not at all."

He released a sigh and poured the coffee into the machine and she did the same.

"Have you considered pills? I mean...it's been a while since you've slept." She nodded and turned the pot on, hearing the coffee drip.

"The pills would just...make it worse," she murmured, eyes suddenly heavy, "I would be in a dead sleep. I wouldn't wake up on time. They'd make me immobile and useless. I'd get killed."

Garrus sighed, "Shepard, you're tense all the time. I think it's because...you're not sleeping. You need to get a good night's rest, clear your head." He wrapped his arms around her stomach, his face on her shoulder.

She smiled, and closed her eyes, "Nothing would be right, Garrus. I can't do that to myself. I can't...not be alert. That...would make it worse."

He kissed her neck and she turned around to face him, her hand lightly touching his face.

"I'm just worried about you," he sighed, grabbing her hands and bringing them to his mouth.

"I know. But I'm okay."

On cue, both coffee machines beeped announcing their completion and Shepard jumped.

He shook his head and frowned, "I don't think you are."

She groaned and reached for two cups in their pantry. She poured her coffee and added one cube of sugar.

She looked at his cup, and it was almost white with the dextro version of creamer and sugar. She grinned, "You have a bad sweet tooth."

He stirred his coffee and smiled, "Well, nothing's as sweet as you." Shepard rolled her eyes and took a sip.

Strong and black. The way she liked it.

She sighed contentedly and sat down at the kitchen table, placed the mug down and rubbed her eyes.

"I'm so used to the inertia of the Normandy," she took another sip and Garrus sat across from her. He reached for her hand and lightly rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.

She smiled and pulled her hand back and he took a sip of coffee.

"So, what do you want to do today?"

She laughed, "I have a few things in mind."

"Like what?"

Without another word, she stood and walked to their bedroom. He grinned and chased after her.

Shepard smiled at him as she sat naked on the bed. Her legs were crossed, her hair down, one perfectly arched eyebrow raised, her mouth parted.

"Come here."

His mouth dried. He felt excited. The way she looked at him...it lit that fire in his belly. He complied and got onto the bed, on his knees.

She got onto her knees and kissed him. He wrapped his arm around her and she pushed her tongue into his mouth.

She was shaking with need. He had never felt her kiss so intensely. She pulled away from the kiss and whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it, "Garrus...I need to be in control of this."

He nodded, "What do you want me to do?"

"Absolutely nothing," and she kissed him again. Her hands slipped off his clothes and he longed to touch her, but kept his talons back.

She pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him. He was fully erect and she was very ready.

She closed her eyes and lowered herself on him. They both gasped and she cried out in pleasure.

He slowly moved his hips but she shook her head, "Let me."

She groaned and flexed her muscles and his mandibles twitched.

"Fuck," she whispered and started riding him. The heat, the perfect slippery heat caused him to slip out but she was able to remedy that by grabbing it and slipping it back in.

Garrus leaned his head back and grabbed her hips, pushing her up and down. She couldn't breathe, the intensity inside her was building and building.

He leaned up to kiss her and she kissed him back. He thrust his hips into her, once, twice, and in that instant she was so close.

He moved his mouth to her neck and placed gentle kisses and she gasped. "Are...you close?"

She nodded and panted, her hand moving to the apex of her thighs. She rubbed lightly and he thrusted into her once more time.

"Oh..ohh Garruss," her eyes closed. The orgasm wave she rode practically consumed her.

He bit her neck and slipped out of her, finishing on her stomach.

Shepard fell into a heap on top of him, exhausted.

She grinned and murmured into his neck, "Definitely not bad, Mr. Vakarian. We haven't had a chance to do that in a while."

Garrus chuckled and kissed her head, "We haven't had time."

She stiffened, but relaxed and rubbed her neck, "I'm going to have such a bad scar."

He blinked and pushed her hair away and examined her neck. He hadn't punctured the soft skin, but it was going to bruise. He kissed it lightly and lifted her off of him.

"Let's clean it up and put a bandage on it."

She sighed and wiped her stomach with her shirt and threw it into the hamper. "Good morning, huh?"

He nodded, thoughtful, "The best, Shepard." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Is that all you had in mind?"

She shrugged and grabbed a fresh pair of underwear, "I don't have any true plans. What are you up for?" She stepped into the bathroom and pulled her toothbrush out.

"Perhaps we should give Liara a call. Find out about the seating arrangements and flowers and the sort..."

She gripped the sink and took a deep breath. He shook his head.

"Nevermind. I'm sorry. It was a dumb idea."

She groaned and grabbed her head. Piercing headache. Her vision blurred. Her heart rate doubled. She was suddenly dizzy.

Eden Prime. The fucking Beacon. The voices, the noise of the mechanical sounds the Reapers made while butchering the Protheans. She felt that she was being levitated again. The only two people that witnessed that were dead. Ashley Williams and Kaidan Alenko. They didn't understand. Fuck, the only one that saw what she saw fucked her boyfriend and was now planning her wedding.

She both sent them to their deaths. Williams on Virmire. Alenko on the Citadel. She shoot him. He didn't listen. He wasn't able to listen. He was so blinded by Udina's lies...she fucking shot him. No second chances. She didn't give him one...why was she giving Garrus one? Why would the Alliance give HER a second chance? They wouldn't. She fucking failed everyone. She destroyed all technology. She failed them all.

She shook her head and was snapped back into reality, "It's fine, Garrus." Her voice still had that commanding tone laced with it. She would never be able to break out of that. It was a trap. A complete cocoon she was enveloped in, only she could never get out.

She'd never get accepted into the Alliance again, not like this. She shook her head and sighed.

"Actually, let's give Liara a call. I have a few ideas."

Garrus blinked, taking a step back, "Are you...sure?"

She smiled, a small, incomplete smile, "I'm sure."

Liara arrived around 8:43 with her omni-tool in tow. She smiled politely at Garrus and Shepard, but Shepard saw her eyes linger on Garrus for about ten seconds too long.

"Good morning, Shepard. Garrus," she stood in the foyer, wearing an elegant suit-dress.

_She tries too hard_, Shepard thought to herself, walking into the kitchen.

"Would you like some coffee?" She called out, pouring herself another cup.

"I'd love some, please," Liara sat down on the couch and turned her omni-tool on.

Shepard poured some Kahlau into her coffee and took a sip. It was so early, but nobody would know...not even Garrus.

"Cream and sugar?"

Liara shook her head, "No thanks, Shepard."

Shepard nodded and poured another tablespoon of alcohol into her coffee and placed the bottle into the pantry.

She walked back towards the living room with two cups and handed Liara hers as she sat in between then two. Shepard sipped her coffee happily and looked at Liara.

Liara almost seemed nervous, her eyebrow raised as she sipped the coffee. Shepard smiled.

"So," Liara pulled up her omni-tool and sent Shepard a file, "I've made the list of people for you. It's not completely finished, because I'm still not sure who you want. Oh, Shepard," Liara paused, "do you know who's going to walk you down the aisle?"

Shepard blinked and looked at Garrus, "That's also included in turian clan ceremonies? I thought it was just human tradition."

Garrus nodded, "It is, but I thought we could make this compromise."

"Hm." Shepard sipped her coffee, feeling a bit drunker and drunker with each sip. It was just so goddamned early and she didn't sleep. "I like that. I just...don't know who will walk me down. Maybe Hackett. He's pretty much like my dad."

Liara smiled, "I think that would be nice." She looked at her omni-tool, scrolling down, "I've also made a list of bridesmaids' gown colors. You may choose from it later and send it to me."

Shepard nodded, "Alright. You've really thought of almost everything."

The asari smiled, "I try, Shepard."

Garrus grinned, "Thanks, Liara."

Her smile grew warmer, "No problem, Garrus. Is there anything else you wanted to run by me, Shepard?"

The Spectre shrugged, "Nope. I think we pretty much covered it." She took a sip from her coffee and stood, "I'll show you out."

Liara stood, "It was nice seeing you again, Garrus."

The turian nodded and smiled lightly, "See you later, Liara."

Shepard faked a smile and walked Liara to the foyer.

"So...the wedding is for sure still on, Shep?"

The human biotic narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, "What do you mean, Liara?"

Liara blinked, "There haven't been any problems? Are...you guys still considering children, even after what happened?"

Shepard spoke through her teeth, "We're perfect and yes, we are. After the wedding, we're going to try again."

"I mean, I personally think you guys should adopt a turian baby. There are so many on Palaven without parents," Liara said quietly.

Shepard pursed her lips, "I know and we have considered that, but I'd much rather have my own child with the man I love."

Liara closed her eyes and sighed, "It's kind of selfish."

Shepard's fist glowed with biotic energy as she punched her in the nose.

* * *

**A/N: **Nothing ever goes according to plan...  
EVER.  
Please review. Did I show Shepard's true mentality thoroughly? Am I missing anything?  
Be honest. PM me or review. Let me know how I can improve. I'm always trying to better my writing and characterization.

_BrokenEmber_


	5. Compulsion

Shepard was furious. Her body was bright blue. Garrus stood, shocked as Liara staggered, blood pouring from her nose.

The asari gripped the bridge of her nose and tilted her head back, glaring at Shepard.

Shepard's hands were shaking, her chest heaving.

"What the fuck, Shepard?" Garrus stared at his fiance, mouth agape.

She pointed a finger at him, "Don't you dare fucking patronize me, Garrus."

He narrowed his eyes and gently pushed her back, gripping her shoulders, "Shepard, calm down."

"Don't. Tell. Me. To. Calm. Down," Shepard spat, "You're the one that slept with someone else."

Garrus growled, "You're the one that had to save the universe again and almost died because of it."

She pushed his talons off of her and stepped back, her eyes on fire. She couldn't think of a response; her mind was racing. She was barely functioning. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Let me get you some ice," Garrus mumbled to Liara, walking back into the kitchen.

Shepard opened her emerald eyes and took a steadying breath. She followed Garrus into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Garrus scoffed, "Yeah, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

She furrowed her brow, "She called me selfish."

He closed his eyes, gripping the icepack as he leaned against the freezer, "Well you're acting kind of immature, Shepard. I guess that's selfishness in her eyes."

Shepard stepped back like she was just shot, her eyes filled with tears, "How DARE you side with her."

Garrus placed the pack on the counter, "I'm not siding with her. You attacked her without reason."

She closed her eyes and took another breath, counting back from twenty.

He sighed and walked towards Liara, handing her the icepack. "You should probably go, Liara."

The asari nodded and looked back at Shepard once before opening the door and leaving.

When the door shut, Garrus walked back to Shepard, her face a blank slate.

"We really need to talk, Shepard."

She crossed her arms, her defensive pose. Her tone was nonchalant, "You don't have to agree with me, just try to understand."

"But that's the thing, Shepard. I can't understand you because you never tell me anything. You never tell me how you feel. You keep it all in so I can't help you."

She narrowed her eyes, "You wouldn't be able to help me, Garrus because you don't know how I feel. Even if I told you, you wouldn't be able to grasp it."

He laughed sarcastically, "You really think I'm that naive?"

"I didn't say that."

Garrus shook his head, "No, you didn't. But you've always thought that. Even when you were my superior. But you're not in the Alliance anymore, Shepard, and I'm not your second in command."

Shepard ran her hand through her hair, not saying a word. Her lips were together, her eyes void of emotion.

He grabbed her left hand and showed her the ring, "I'm your fiance, soon to be your husband. That means we're equal, Shepard. You're not above me and I'm not above you."

She snorted, "So you think I'm treating you like my fucking soldier in a platoon?"

"No, but you don't trust me," his voice lowered, "In order for this to work...you need to let go of the past and we need to focus on our future together."

Her lip trembled, "I can't let go of it...it's everywhere. It's in everything. The signs. The time I lost with you and the time she gained. How do you not see that she's in love with you?"

Garrus shook his head, "She isn't, Shepard. We're just friends."

"You're never just friends with a fuck-buddy. Look at how we turned out." The phrase rolled off her tongue so easily, she almost didn't realize what she said.

She closed her eyes, turning her head. She couldn't see his eyes. Those magnificent blue eyes.

"Wow...so that's all you thought of us, huh?" He smiled a broken smile.

"Garrus...that's not-"

"No, Shepard. It is. I get it." He grabbed the keys to their skycar and apartment.

_No! No! Don't let him leave, Shepard. Fucking stop him! _Her heart broke, her mouth didn't cooperate with her brain, "Where...are you going?"

He shrugged, grabbing a jacket, "I don't know. But I'll probably be back tomorrow morning." He stepped towards her and leaned his head against her forehead and kissed her. "I love you."

"I..love you too."

Just like that, he was out the door.

Shepard gasped for breath. Everything was stale. The air didn't fill her lungs.

She couldn't cry. It wouldn't help anything. It wouldn't make Garrus walk through that door and apologize.

Or was she wrong?

_I did punch her in the face over just a stupid comment. She deserved it._

She shook her head and sighed, walking over to the freezer. A large half empty bottle of vodka and a few beers welcomed her.

She grabbed the vodka bottle, pulled the cap off and took a long, long swig. Oh it burned. It was excellent.

She turned her omni-tool on. "Fuck."

It was only 9:30 in the morning. He'd be back in twenty four hours. What would she do with the rest of her day? Sit here and wait?

Perfect time to forget her problems. She took another swig and wiped her eyes and walked to her bedroom.

She knew just who to call...

She smiled. He knew what to cook for her. She could make them margaritas.

She pulled her omni-tool up and dialed a number, reaching for her earpiece.

"Hello?" His Spanish accent always made her day. The stupid things he said on the Normandy...

"Hey James. It's Shepard."

"Lola? What can I do for you?" It sounded like he was lifting weights. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm craving some of your abuela's vuevos rancheros and a really strong margarita."

He laughed, "Okay, where are you?"

"Garrus' apartment. It's on Palaven."

"Alright, I know where he lives. Err..don't ask. I'll be over in about an hour."

She grinned, "I'll see you then."

Some hot mexican food and a really good margarita and James?

Yeah, that would help her forget.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, fuck.

That sucked. What will happen with James? And where is Garrus spending the night?

I love drama. Am I keeping my readers on their toes? Do you ever know where I'm going next? I certainly don't.

_BrokenEmber_


	6. Equality

**A/N: **Eyes Set To Kill- "Where I Want To Be" is a perfect song for this chapter. Just saying.

* * *

Garrus rang the doorbell only twice and Liara opened the door, tissues in her hand.

"Garrus?" She looked like she had been crying.

He smiled weakly at her, "Hey. Can I come in?"

She nodded and he stepped in. She shut the door behind them.

"So...what happened?" She looked at him with those big blue eyes and he chuckled sadly.

"We got into a really big fight. I just...I don't know what her deal is. I mean, I can't blame her..."

"Then why are you?" She walked towards her large white couch and sat down, motioning him to sit down next to her.

He sighed, "She just makes me so mad, Liara because she keeps everything bottled inside until she breaks, which is what happened. That's why she punched you."

Liara bit her tongue, "Honestly, what I said was out of line. Did she even tell you what happened?"

"She just said you called her selfish."

She shook her head and looked at the tissues in her hand, "She didn't tell you everything. I asked her if you guys were going to try again."

He looked at her quizzically.

"Have a baby together. I told her there were plenty of turian babies that needed a home..."

* * *

Shepard looked at herself in the mirror. She put on a bit of concealer to cover her dark circles, some clear gloss, and mascara. She didn't really know why she was getting dolled up for James, but she was so depressed that she needed any kind of distraction. She wore a simple dark red spaghetti strap and dark blue jeans and she put her long black hair in a pony tail.

She didn't understand why Garrus left her like that, and what's worse, is he probably went to go see Liara. The thought made her sick.

She walked towards the kitchen and stopped when she heard a child laugh. She looked outside the window and for a second...she saw that boy on Earth. She shook her head and blinked.

It was a turian baby boy with his turian mother and father. She gripped her stomach and started shaking. She slowly fell to her knees, placing both her hands on the floor in front of her.

She couldn't stop shaking. Her vision blurred, but she knew tears weren't going to fall. They wouldn't betray her. No. No.

It'd be so fucking stupid to start crying. Nobody gave a fuck. Garrus obviously didn't. He didn't even bother to listen. Didn't she explain to him? No. She didn't.  
That's why he left. Because she couldn't tell him how she felt.

She thought he wouldn't care that she punched Liara. She fucking hated everyone, especially her. But holding a grudge was considered pathetic in her eyes, and she knew that it only happened once.

Or did it? Fuck, what if he's with her right now?

She got up and ran to the bathroom, threw the toilet seat up and regurgitated. She started crying.

She thought he'd leave her, permanently, if he knew how weak and pathetic she was. She tightened her grip on her stomach. That's why she lost the baby.  
She was weak.

That's why she got raped when she was a teenager. She was weak.

_Weak._ _Weak._

The doorbell rang and she wiped her tears away. She quickly looked in the mirror and fixed her mascara with a cotton ball. She smiled, masking her emotions and walked towards the front door.

James smiled, holding a plastic bag with a bottle of tequila and the breakfast contents.

"Shepard, you look good for being half dead," he grinned and awkwardly hugged her.

She rolled her eyes, "You sure know how to compliment a girl, Vega."

He laughed, walking towards the kitchen, "So...how ya been?"

She shrugged and grabbed the bottle of tequila, "I really want to get drunk, James, and not talk about it." She grabbed a few shot glasses and poured the alcohol into them.

James blinked then smirked, "I mean...uh..okay. Well I'm alright too, thanks."

She smiled and downed the shot of tequila. This was such a great idea.

* * *

Garrus was shaking. He wanted to throw up.

Liara was crying, "I didn't mean it like that, Garrus! She just...freaked out!"

"She probably thinks we're having sex, Liara. She's having a panic attack right now. She's getting drunk at a bar or something..." He put his head in his talons and groaned.

"Why did you even come here if you're going to make me feel so fucking guilty?"

He laughed, "Oh so you feel guilty? How do you think I feel? She thinks you're in love with me!"

Liara froze, "What?"

Garrus sighed, taking a steadying breath and nodded, "Yeah. Shepard thinks you love me."

The asari sighed, "I love both of you. I always have. Shepard's like a sister, you're like my brother..."

"Well, brothers don't have sex with their sisters, Liara."

Her eyes widened, "We were drunk, Garrus!" She stood and took a few steps away from the couch. "Goddess, do you think I don't regret it? Every time I see Shepard, I feel guilt."

Garrus closed his eyes, "So do I."

"Then why did you leave her when she needed you, Garrus? She hasn't been the same since she lost the baby." She sighed, "She hasn't been the same since Earth was getting destroyed in front of her. Did she tell you about that boy on Earth?"

"Yeah, she did. It wasn't her fault. There was nothing she could do.."

Liara groaned, "Shepard doesn't see that, Garrus. She sees every mistake as a failure. She sees saving the galaxy and almost dying because of it, a failure. She thinks that destroying technology, even though she stopped the damned Reapers, is a failure." She took a step towards him, her eyes shining with tears, "She never sees the good in anything she does, Garrus. That's why she tries so hard. You need to tell her you love her. You...need to show it because she doesn't feel like she deserves you."

* * *

Shepard laughed. Holy fuck, she was drunk. James made her the best margarita. It had been so tasty...then she had at least five extra shots.

"Lola...I mean...you fucking killed the Reapers..and that's how he treated you?"

She looked at him, surprised he was still coherent. "Yeah. What a dick, right..?"

James nodded, taking another shot, "_Pendejo. _I can't believe he just left."

She smiled, "So...what is in vuevos rancheros?"

"Beans...salsa...uh...eggs."

She slowly walked to the kitchen, "Oh my god, you should make that. I think I need to eat so I don't throw up later. Wait, chicken eggs, right? Not like...verren eggs?"

He slowly got up from the couch, "Chicken eggs, Lola." He walked towards the kitchen. "This is a really nice apartment. But I bet you miss the Normandy, eh?"

Shepard smiled sadly, "You have no idea, Vega."

"You should be reinstated. Fuck the Alliance for not giving you your ship back."

She shrugged, "I think she's under someone's command right now."

James sighed, "It's total bullshit, Shepard. You should be made a fucking Admiral and all you got was Spectre reinstatement."

She took a sip of her margarita, "Spectres...are not to be made fun of, Lieutenant."

He grinned, "I'm actually in N7 training right now."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he broke the eggs into the frying pan, "I took your advice and joined the N7 program after the war."

She smiled, "That's excellent, James. Congratulations."

He grinned, "Thanks, Lola. Couldn't have done it without you. You were the best."

"Were?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Well...at training me...and stuff."

She smiled, "I tried, Vega."

He sighed, sadly, "You deserve so much more, Lola. Nobody ever gives you any credit."

Shepard took another sip of her margarita, "Well, people are just stupid, James. They do stupid shit sometimes."

"Yeah...stupid." He leaned in and kissed her.

Shepard blinked and allowed the kiss. Everything inside her was screaming, "Get him the fuck off, get him the fuck off." but right now, she didn't care.

The front door opened.

"Shepard, I'm sorr-" Garrus stopped and dropped the keys on the floor.

James and Shepard pulled away, awkwardly.

Shepard blinked, her mind panicking, "Garrus!"

"What the fuck, Shepard?" Hurt and confusion shined in his blue eyes.

James put his hands in the air, "I kissed her, Scars. It's my fault."

"Get the fuck out of here, Vega," Garrus growled, glaring at Shepard.

James rolled his neck around, "Okay, I'm going. See you later, Lola."

"Stop calling her Lola!" Garrus barked, "She's fucking Shepard to you."

Shepard growled and stepped towards Garrus, "James can call me whatever he fucking pleases, Vakarian."

"No, he can't, Shepard. You're engaged to _me_. You're marrying _me_."

"What happened to us being equals, Vakarian?" She was fucking flaming mad. She had never felt so enraged.

Garrus growled, "We are but you shouldn't be alone with him!"

"Then why did you go see Liara? Why the fuck is there such a double-standard? You can do whatever you want, but I can't. That's not equality, that's fucking superiority."

James felt awkward witnessing the fight, so he quietly left the apartment and gently shut the door.

Neither of them noticed.

He placed his talons on his head, exasperated, "Nothing happened between me and Liara."

She stepped towards him, 'Commander' was written all over face. "Nothing else happened other than that kiss between Vega and I so back the fuck off."

He took a deep breath, "I overreacted."

"Well you fucking left me, Garrus. You left me when I needed you," tears filled her eyes and they finally spilled.

Garrus swallowed. His heart was breaking, watching her cry. "Shepard...I..."

She shook her head, raising one hand, "Don't fucking bother. You don't even care about how I feel, Garrus. You have no idea what's going on and you don't give a fuck." She wiped her face and her body straightened. She became expressionless. She wasn't going to cry like a little bitch in front of him. She refused to.

She glanced at her bedroom, "You can sleep on the couch tonight."

"Shepard..." he reached for her hands and her lip trembled.

"Don't look at me like that, Garrus. I can't deal with this right now...please." She was begging him. It was enveloped in her tone.

Garrus released her hands and looked at the floor, "Okay...I'm..." She walked to the bedroom and shut the door.

"...sorry." He walked to the closed door and heard uncontrollable sobs emerge from behind.

"Shepard...please...let me in." He reached for the handle.

It was locked.

"Shepard, please...I love you."

She took a deep breath and opened the door slowly.

"Really..?"

His tongue dried, "Have I made you...doubt that?"

She nodded and clasped her hands together, "Lately...you have."

He gripped her hands and kissed them.

She grabbed him and wrapped her arms around his neck and he simply held her.

He didn't know if it was enough, but it was a start.

* * *

**A/N:** Next will be the wedding.

OHMEGAWD.

Review, because you love me. Right? Right.

_BrokenEmber_


	7. Ceremony

Shepard looked in the mirror and smiled. Her dark hair was curled, flowing past her shoulders. Her eye makeup was simple, yet stunning. Nude glossy peach lips, a dark blue smokey eye outlined with black liner, a pop of blush on the apples of her cheeks.

The veil sat on the crown of her head. Tali was behind her, smiling.

"What do you think? Did I do your makeup okay?" The quarian asked, placing her three fingered hands on Shepard's shoulders.

Shepard smiled, "Tali, I love it." She turned around and hugged her.

Tali grinned, "Great. I'm glad I'm okay at that."

"Shepard, you look absolutely gorgeous," Miranda smiled, handing her the bouquet.

Jack whistled, "You look hot, Shep."

The Spectre frowned and sat down on the stool.

Kelly rushed to her side and grabbed her hand, "Shepard?"

Shepard took a deep breath. The three other women crowded around her.

Tali reached for her hand, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and inhaled, exhaled. "I don't know. I'm worried something's going to go wrong."

Miranda pulled her omni-tool out, "Everything is arranged, Shepard. It's all designed beautifully. Liara did her job well."

Shepard sighed, "I'm just freaking out...I mean...I'm getting married. It's just...strange."

Kelly squeezed her hand, "Garrus loves you, Shepard."

"More than anything," Tali added, "It's written all over his face. He would be lost without you."

Shepard smiled, "Thanks girls." She stood and looked in the mirror one more time. Nothing was smeared. She reached for the tube of gloss and reapplied out of habit and rubbed her lips together.

She smoothed her white gown out and squealed, "Holy shit, I'm getting married."

The girls laughed and there was a knock on the door.

Miranda opened the door and it revealed Liara. She smiled, "Hey girls."

She walked towards Shepard and hugged her. Shepard gently hugged her back.

"I love you, Shepard. You're my best friend."

Miranda cleared her throat a bit too loudly.

"I'm sorry I punched you, Liara."

The asari smiled and rolled her eyes, "Oh, it's okay, Shepard."

Shepard laughed and looked at her bridesmaids.

They all wore dark blue strapless gowns and velvet black pumps. Kelly wore the same color, only it was a halter dress because she was the Maid of Honor.

"You all look absolutely beautiful," Shepard smiled, "I'm so happy my best friends are standing by my side."

There was another knock on the door and Shepard already knew who it was.

The man that was going to walk her down the aisle.

Steven Hackett.

He smiled at her, "You look wonderful, Shepard. I believe it's almost your cue."

She took a deep breath, grabbed his hand and started walking.

* * *

Garrus started pacing.

Solana just smiled at her brother and grabbed his talon. "Garrus. Calm down."

He took a deep breath. "What if something happens? What if one of her friends eats the dextro cake instead and they have an allergic reaction and die?"

The female turian blinked, "Garrus...relax. Everything will be perfect."

Tarok walked behind the curtain and seemed to smile at his son, "Garrus, she's almost ready. It's your turn to get out there."

"Dad..."  
His father walked towards him and placed his talons on his shoulders, "Garrus. Don't overanalyze this. She loves you and I know you love her. I'll be honest, son..." he smiled, "I've never been more proud of you."

Garrus smiled and hugged his father. Tarok hugged him back.

"I love you son. Now let's not keep your lady waiting."

* * *

She'd heard this wedding song a thousand times in vids, but never thought she'd be hearing it at _her _wedding.

Shepard squeezed Hackett's hand and he looked at her and smiled.

"Just breathe, Shepard."

_Breathe. Breathe. Fuck._

Her legs were lead as she walked down the aisle. It seemed so real at that moment, like the only real thing in her life when she saw his blue eyes light up when he saw her.

* * *

She looked like a goddess in white. He tried to swallow but couldn't. His eyes never left hers. They were so bright. Perfect. The way her hair was softly curled and shining, the gloss upon her lips attracting all the light in the room, her smile that could make every star in the galaxy glow with envy. She looked angelic. This beautiful woman was going to marry him.

How did he get so lucky?

* * *

Each step seemed like an eternity. There was nobody else in the room but she and Garrus. The world around her blurred and everything seemed to move in slow motion when he extended his talon to her.

She grabbed it and slowly walked up the two steps to reach him.

They both turned towards the single Palaven councilor. The turian had blue markings on his face, just as Garrus did. He was an elder from the same clan.

"Clan members and family, you may be seated."

Shepard fought the urge to turn around and see who was behind her.

"We are gathered here today to bring not only an human into our clan, but the savior of all life. Commander Shepard will bond with our brother and Primarch, and they will be one."

Shepard glanced at Garrus through the corner of her eye and reached for his talon. He squeezed her hand and smiled.

"Shepard, this is our family. We are all bonded together and by joining with Garrus, you are one of us. That means you will take on all of the responsibilities of being a clan member and do your duties within the clan. You will lose your name and be joined with Garrus, and will from now on be a Vakarian clan member. Do you accept these rules?"

Shepard smiled and turned to face Garrus, "I do."

"Good. Now, repeat after me. I will forever love you."

"I will forever love you."

"I will be your light during the dark times and I will be your shelter through the storm."

She smiled, "I will be your light during the dark times and I will be your shelter through the storm."

"I will not hold myself above you, but I will be joined with you as equal."

"I will not hold myself above you, but I will be joined with you as equal." _We just fought about this..._

"Your pain will be my pain, your happiness my happiness, and I will rejoice with you when you rejoice."

"Your pain will be my pain, your happiness my happiness, and I will rejoice with you when you rejoice."

The elder turian smiled, and looked at Garrus.

"Garrus Vakarian, you are accepting this woman into the clan as your wife. She is one of us now. It is your duty as her husband to show her our way of life. Do you accept that challenge?"

Garrus smiled at Shepard, "I do."

After Garrus repeated his vows, he turned towards Shepard. She smiled.

They leaned their foreheads against each other and he whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed her and she smiled.

The crowd behind them cheered.

She tried really hard not to jump.

* * *

**A/N: **Did you like the vows? I tried...

I honestly love this chapter. It made me so happy, writing it.

Oh my gosh, next chapter shall be the Reception.

_**Please**_ review! :D

_BrokenEmber_


	8. Memories

Marble floors sparkled as the chandeliers lit the room. The six large french doors were opened, golden curtains drawn, revealing the night sky. Navy table cloths covered the small wooden tables. In the center, on a round table, sat two large six tier wedding cakes; one clearly labeled dextro, the other levo. The room, in itself, was huge. The many guests sat at their respective table, holographic name card floating above. Shepard wrapped her arm around Garrus' as the walked to their large table.

She took a deep breath, "It's so beautiful, Garrus."

He looked at her and smiled, "You're beautiful, Mrs. Vakarian."

She blushed and leaned her head on his shoulder. He pulled the chair out for her and she lifted her dress as she sat down.

He sat next to her and rested his talon on her hand, eyes gazing thoughtfully at their crowded room.

"There are a lot of people here, Garrus," she murmured, "I don't know any of them."

He chuckled, "I'll be honest...neither do I."

She smiled, feeling her heart race with each impassive glace the guests gave her. Suddenly, they started approaching, all at once, it seemed.

The numerous hands grasps, kisses on knuckles, and heartfelt congratulations overwhelmed her. They commented on how lovely the reception was, how smooth the wine was, how well the jazz band played. She looked to her left and saw, sure enough, the band was playing a low, gentle tune. She didn't remember organizing that with Liara...in fact, most of the things at her wedding were never run past her. She didn't remember giving Liara instructions on the cake. She just fucking did it, that bitch.

She smiled nervously at the numerous people, but Garrus could sense her panic and calmly asked everyone if they could stop crowding around his bride.

The group dispersed and Shepard finally could breathe.

She kissed his cheek, "Thanks."

She sighed and her stomach growled. "I don't even remember what we put on our menu. Do you?"

Garrus blinked, "Filets and shrimp, Shepard. You organized it all."

She paused, "I did? I don't remember..." He grinned nervously.

The multiple waiters came out through the kitchen door, skirting around tables, filling wine glasses, handing out plates of appetizers.

A human waitress approached Shepard and Garrus, smiled and filled their wine. Shepard took a small sip and looked at the bacon wrapped shrimp on her plate.

She was starving and popped one into her mouth.

Joker smiled and stood. He was Garrus' best man. He tapped his glass with a spoon, and the chatter in the room stopped.

Shepard looked at him and smiled and Joker cleared his throat.

"Hey, everybody. For those of you that don't know me, I'm Jeff, the ex-pilot of the Normandy. I flew for Captain Anderson before serving under Commander Shepard." He grinned and took a sip of wine, "I watched Shepard and Garrus' relationship grow over a period of three years. They started off as close friends, then closer friends, then very _special _friends."

The crowd giggled and Shepard laughed. Garrus squeezed her hand.

"When we thought we lost her two years ago...everyone was a wreck. But she came back and saved us again. We owe her our very existence."

Shepard couldn't breathe. The space was closing tight around her. Her dress melted away and she was in her old N7 armor.

"Commander!" Joker called. Her hands were slipping. "Shepard!"

The pod closed. He was safe. Everyone was safe. She did her job.

In space, everything froze. She couldn't breathe. She gripped her helmet. She was exploding. The pressure was crushing her.

She took a breath.

"She and Garrus are perfect together. Over the years, they've had their difficulties, but they persevered. When Garrus called me and told me they were getting married, I really didn't know what to say. On instinct, I asked him if he was sure it was the right time. 'Shepard is one of my best friends.' he told me. 'I don't want to wait. I want her to be mine as soon as possible.'"

Shepard kissed Garrus and the crowed "aww"ed. Joker chuckled.

"Well she's finally yours, buddy. And Shepard..." he smiled at her, "You look lovely tonight." He lifted his wine glass, "A toast...to my two greatest friends. I hope you find every happiness the galaxy has to offer."

The crowd clapped and Shepard stood and walked over to Joker and hugged him.

"Thank you." Garrus smiled at Joker and she walked back to her husband.

Hackett stood and cleared his throat, "Well. I'm Admiral Steven Hackett, but you all already know that. Today we're here to celebrate the marriage of two amazing soldiers, but you already knew that as well, hopefully."

Garrus chuckled and Shepard leaned on him. He wrapped his arm around her waist.

Hackett looked at the couple and smiled, "I remember when you first joined the Alliance, Shepard. You were just sixteen when you walked into my office. I could tell...you saw things no little girl should see, you went through things no little girl should ever go through and that was your survivor instinct. You have pushed through it all and you've always won."

Shepard tensed.

She was in torn jeans, torn white shirt. Dirt covered her. She was limping, bleeding from the attack from the batarian. Two soldiers helped her through the front door and she asked for a glass of water. Her voice was small. She was very small, fragile, weak. She walked into his office and sat down. Hackett asked her what she had to lose and when she told him nothing, he seemed to smile. He asked her if she'd had training, she said no, but she's killed men before. Her tone was cold. He saw the potential in her when she was sixteen. He knew she'd get the job done and ask questions later.

It was almost fourteen years ago. So much has changed, nothing has changed.

"I just wish you and Garrus luck, Shepard. You're a lovely bride, and you'll make a fabulous mother when you two decide to settle down. To the two heroes, Mr. and _Mrs_. Vakarian." The crowd clapped and Shepard took another sip of her wine. Garrus smiled at her and finally the jazz band started playing a slow melody.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom will be dancing their first dance together."

She looked at Garrus and blinked. He grinned and shrugged, and extended his talon to her. She took a deep breath and grabbed it.

He led her to the center of the room and she smiled, "You know I can't dance."

"Neither can I...but this song's slow. And it's expected of us to dance together."

She grinned and they clasped talons and hands together. She leaned her head on his awkward chest, sighing contentedly.

"When do we ever do anything that's expected of us?"

He chuckled, "Good point, my wife. I guess we don't do it often. I've told you I'm not a very good turian."

"You know I'm such a rebel," she laughed and they slowly swayed their bodies together.

The smooth jazz song relaxed her. It was so lovely. It reminded her of meadows on Earth and skipping merrily into her lovers arms. She had seen that scene in vids over and over.

He kissed her forehead.

"Your heartbeat is the best lullaby," she whispered into his chest.

He smiled, "You have my heart. Completely."

She leaned her head up and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. His arms were around her waist and she lifted her right heel.

The crowd cheered.

They separated and Hackett tapped Garrus on the shoulder. Shepard smiled and the band played a old fashioned swing song. She laughed and Steven gently reached for her hands.

Garrus grinned and Liara approached him. She extended her blue hand and he looked at Shepard. His wife shrugged and nodded.

"Okay, Liara. Let's dance." The asari smiled brilliantly and he grabbed her hands.

Shepard smiled at Steven, "Thank you for walking me down the aisle."

He spun her around, then pulled her back. Their steps were in perfect synchronization with the music.

"You're like my daughter, Shepard. I've tried to be there when you need me. There's no way I'd turn down the chance to walk you down the aisle. It's what Anderson would have wanted."

She smiled sadly, "I miss Anderson. He always wanted me to get married."

Steven grinned, shaking his head as he revealed an old memory, "He knew you and Garrus were serious. He would call me on vid and ask for updates on you two."

She laughed lightly, "He really just wanted me to be happy."

"Are you happy? I know the circumstances haven't been ideal..."

Eden Prime. They had just landed. Alenko and Jenkins were behind her. Her pistol was drawn and she lifted one hand up. She blinked and waved them forward. Geth drones appeared from nowhere and shot Jenkins. He fell to the ground, dead. Her call. Her mistake. The first causality aboard the Normandy.

Shepard shook her head, "I am. Everything is perfect."

He smiled, "I'm glad, Shepard."

The music stopped and Garrus walked towards his bride. He smiled at her.

"So...do we cut the cake now?"

Shepard blinked and shrugged, "I guess we can do it whenever. Why, do you want something sweet?"

He smiled and kissed her, "I think I'm okay for now. Do you want to cut the cake?"

She grinned and shrugged, "I don't see why not."

"Hey, everyone! They're going to cut the cake!" Liara called, everyone gathered.

The room got suddenly quiet. Shepard took a deep breath and walked to the table in the middle with her husband and grabbed the knife.

_Shepard._

Children laughing. She looked around, but everyone was very quiet. She shook her head and Garrus placed his talon over hers as they cut the cake.

_Shepard._

"Do you hear that?" she whispered. Garrus paused, his mouth by her ear, "No..."

It got louder and louder.

_Why skipper?  
_Ashley's voice.

Her hand trembled.

_Shepard.  
_Anderson...

_Mommy._

_Skipper._

_Shepard-Commander._

_Siha..._

_YOU HAVE FAILED._

All their voices.  
_  
_"Shepard?"

_FAILED.  
_  
Her lip quivered and she dropped the knife.

Garrus took a step back.

"Shepard..." He reached for her hand.

_Mommy..._

She gasped for air and fell onto the floor, crawling into fetal position.

The crowd gasped, gathering closer.

Miranda stormed forward, screaming, "Give her some air!"

Jack joined her, her biotics threatening the crowd, "Everyone back the fuck off!" The crowd stepped back.

Garrus got onto his knees, grabbing her hands, "Shepard?"

Her lip quivered, tears were pouring down her face. "Why won't they leave me alone, Garrus...?"

He pushed hair away from her face, "Who?"

She sobbed, "Everyone I've failed."

* * *

**A/N: **This entire time...she's been sick. But nobody has guessed it yet.  
Can you guess what's wrong with her?

That was a shitty reception. She had a bad time.

Please review! 

_BrokenEmber_

**I'm opening a poll on my profile page to see what you think is wrong with Shepard. Vote now! **


	9. Backwards

Garrus sat in the steel chair, talons folded on his knees. He took a deep breath and rolled his neck around. It had been two hours since he admitted his wife into the hospital and he was still waiting for results.

So many theories ran through his mind. Schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, perhaps she just let the stress of the wedding and not sleeping get to her? He honestly didn't know.

He also didn't know how long it had been going on. Since she came back? Since she lost the baby? Shepard keeps things in, she never voices her feelings. He looked up. All of her friends were at the hospital.  
Tali, Miranda, Jack, Hackett...

Even Liara.

The asari handed him a cup of coffee in a Styrofoam cup. He smiled and took a sip. It tasted off. Hospitals didn't make that great of coffee.

Liara sat next to him, "I'm glad I was able to change her out of that dress. It'd be a bit odd to see the savior of the galaxy go to a hospital in her wedding dress."

"Yeah...thanks for that, by the way."

She nodded and took a sip of her own coffee.

"I don't know what happened," she muttered, staring angrily at the cup.

The turian shrugged, "Honestly, I don't either. I can't imagine how stressed she's been. She just...never told me anything. Maybe I didn't pry enough..."

She shook her head, "No, Garrus. This in no way was your fault, okay? She didn't give you any signs."

He sighed, "Yeah. Maybe."

He looked at his omni-tool.. She'd be in there too long. He felt anxious. He stood and walked up to a salarian nurse writing notes on a datapad.

"Excuse me, do you know when my wife will be let out of ICU?"

The nurse blinked, "Last name?"

He sighed, "Shepard-Vakarian."

"She was never in ICU, Mr. Vakarian," he scrolled the data pad, "She's been placed in a therapy session in the neurology ward."

"What? Why wasn't I aware of this? I'm her husband! Why didn't the doctors ask for my permission?"

"Apparently, sir, she told the doctors she wasn't married."

* * *

"Hello Commander Shepard. I'm Doctor Faro, a neurologist."

Shepard closed her eyes, counting backwards from one-hundred. She sat on the sterile white sheeted bed. The material felt so..odd. She sighed.

The human doctor droned on and on, talking about triggers and how to overcome fears.

"This is ridiculous," she muttered, "I killed the Reapers. I have nothing to be afraid of."

He said something else, but she couldn't bear to listen. It was going to drive her crazy. He had no idea what he was talking about or who he was dealing with. She didn't have anything wrong with her. Perhaps insomnia, but other than that, she was fine.

"You're suffering from what many soldiers go through after war. Some can't deal with it."

She laughed, "Well I'm fucking Commander Shepard. I've saved this worthless galaxy three times. I have nothing to be afraid of."

"Commander, the more you keep denying it, the more trouble you're going to have."

"I'm not denying anything. I have nothing to be afraid of."

The doctor kept telling her what was wrong with her, but she ignored him and closed her eyes.

"Where's my daughter?"

He blinked, "Excuse me?"

"Where's my daughter? Ashley Vakarian?"

The doctor stood, "Excuse me, Commander, I'm going to go find that out for you, alright?"

She nodded and leaned back in the chair.

Dr. Faro stood outside the room, looking up data on his omni-tool. He pulled up his omni-tool and called his assistant, "Jerik, I need to ask you something about our new patient."

"Commander Shepard?"

"Yes. Does she have a daughter?"

The salarian sighed, "No, sir. She had a miscarriage a while back."

Faro took a deep breath, "Call her military physician and find her a high-end psychiatrist from the Citadel. I'm not qualified for this. Notify me immediately when they arrive."

"Right away, sir."

* * *

Garrus stalked towards the neurology ward, furious, Liara on his heel.

"Garrus? What did that nurse tell you?"

He shook his head and approached the front desk. "I'm looking for my wife, Commander Shepard."

The asari receptionist nodded, typed something into the computer and told him, "Room 128 on the second floor."

"Thank you," he stalked to the nearest elevator. He glanced at Liara, "It's probably best if you don't come up with me. Go home, Liara. Get everyone home. They don't need to be here any longer."

"Like Hell, Garrus! I'm staying here until I find out what's wrong with Shepard!"

He narrowed his eyes, "No, Liara. Please..." he took a deep breath, "Go home."

He stepped into the elevator and it closed before Liara could protest any further.

"Goddamnit." She murmured, heading for the stairwell.

* * *

Shepard narrowed her eyes, staring analytically at the silver door handle. She summoned her biotics with the flick of her wrist and warped the door handle.

Nothing happened.

She sighed and crossed her legs on the bed. She was so fucking bored! The more she thought about her absence within the Alliance, the more it depressed her. She really wanted to rip someone's head off and gouge their eyes out with her omni-blade.

She needed to fight. The fight kept everything in check.

Any aspirations she had fell flat on the floor without the Alliance. She was a blood-thirsty warrior, she needed the chase, the thrill. It kept her young. She took a deep breath.

They were denying her that.

Maybe this was a long-term side effect of Reaper indoctrination? She rolled her eyes and relaxed onto the bed. It was actually fairly comfortable, considering she was in a hospital.

The door opened.

"So...docto-" she blinked and stared at the turian in front of her.

"Shepard..."

Shepard blinked, "Can I help you, Vakarian?"

Garrus gasped and fell to his knees in front of her, "Shepard, what's wrong? What have you kept from me since you came back?"

She shook her head, "There must be a mistake."

"What do you mean?"

She cocked her head, "I don't know what you're talking about, Garrus. We're still on the Normandy. Did you think I went to get some shore leave and didn't tell you?"

* * *

**A/N: **So, that's chapter 9. You still have a few days left to vote in the poll on what you think Shepard's been diagnosed with! :p

What'd you think?

_BrokenEmber_


	10. Identification

**A/N: **I'd like to thank _NeverEatRoses_ and _Credete_ for their support and ideas as I wrote this chapter. :)

* * *

"I haven't really been honest with...my feelings, Garrus."

Garrus stiffened, looking at his broken wife. She looked so...alien to him now. The dark shadows under her eyes, her hair lackluster, even her skin paled—the natural rose in her cheeks was gone.

"No, you haven't, Shepard. You keep everything in and then..." he rolled his wrist around, gesturing to her in the bed, "..this happens."

She sighed, running her long nails along her arm. "Nothing is right, Garrus. Nothing's been right since I came back."

"It hasn't. I've...been trying to adjust, Shepard, but you're constantly changing your mind about us."

Shepard narrowed her emerald eyes, "I'd say I've been fairly consistent, Garrus."

He scoffed, "Shepard, you're all over the place! One minute you're happy, the next minute you punch Liara in the nose."

She huffed, "She deserved it."

Garrus groaned, "My point is, you never tell me what you're thinking..." he looked at his talons, "You've only recently started keeping things in. Before, on the Normandy..."

"Well, we're not on the Normandy, Garrus," her tone was icy and crisp.

"I know we aren't, and I know how much it means to you to be in Command again...but, Shepard..."

Shepard laughed, a broken, empty laugh, "You honestly think you know what it's like to be a soldier with a mental disorder?" She closed her eyes and the tears fell, "To be fucking red-flagged and considered a danger to yourself and those around you? That's what I am, Garrus. That's what they told me."

He was numb. He couldn't find his voice.

"I mean, doesn't mean shit to anyone if you're the savior, if you're referred to as 'ticking-time-bomb', who will want you Commanding them?" She looked at him, incredulous. "You have no idea what it means to me, Garrus. Especially now that I'm incapable of it."

He opened his mouth to say something when there was a knock on the door.

"Commander Shepard, I'm Doctor Geny, a psychiatric specialist that helps soldiers coming home from war." A blonde with brown eyes, a clean white suit, crisp card pinned on her jacket reading "Doctor Geny" stepped inside the room, datapad under her arm.

Shepard looked at Garrus, "Would you mind getting me something to eat?"

He nodded at Doctor Geny, "What would you like?"

She waved her hand, "Anything edible."

Garrus stepped outside the room.

* * *

"Commander, I'd like to begin this therapy session by telling you everything is completely confidential. Nothing will leave this room. We're just using this to being your healing process."

A nod. It was a permanent promise. She couldn't believe her.

The blonde smiled, too brightly, "I'm going to ask you a few questions."

How are you today?

Time. It's going by so, so, very slow.  
She felt achy. Her entire body was sore—as if often was after a battle—but she wasn't fighting an exterior force. It just was wrong. Everything was wrong. She hasn't slept in months.

Why haven't you slept?

Shepard closed her eyes and she was on Earth again. The destruction, the screams of people below her, that boy with those big blue eyes. It had been predicted. Fifty thousand years ago, the Protheans left their warning. The Beacon on Eden Prime. The fact that they were warned...if they had prepared, the graves would be empty. That little boy would be alive.

Geny didn't say anything.

She wouldn't had to have activated the Catalyst, lost two months of her life and been cheated on. She groaned and closed her eyes; no, no, mustn't think of it. It was a mistake, it only happened _once_.  
Shepard shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. She was okay.  
Maybe if she got out of this goddamned hospital, she and Garrus could start over. She looked at the ring on her left hand and smiled.  
They were going to work out.

So he had an affair while you were presumed dead, Shepard?  
She nodded. Only once.

With your best friend? Do you still consider her your best friend?

Shepard shrugged. She didn't know. Fuck, she didn't even care.  
It really doesn't bother you anymore, Commander?  
She bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. It does bother her, a lot. But it was in the past. It only happened once.  
Shepard.  
The Commander shook her head, looking back up at the therapist.  
Her eyes were glowing yellow.

* * *

_What would she like?_

Garrus rolled his shoulders back, stretching out his back. He walked to the elevator and pressed the button that led to the first floor. The cafeteria would be there, right? He sighed and maneuvered himself between asari nurses, doctors and patients until he found the neon sign that read "CAFETERIA."

Shepard's only meal consisted of the Alliance edition nutrient bars for lunch and dinner, a liter of water in between missions, and coffee in the morning. He never saw her eat anything else on the Normandy.

He arrived at the cafeteria. _Normandy...why did she think we were on the Normandy? Was that a flashback? _

He paused over the menu above him. She needed something filling and nutritious, and this hospital served a variety of cuisine. Noodle dishes, salads, sandwiches, soups. He glanced at the dextro side of the menu and grunted. One type of soup that wasn't even native to Palaven, some form of cold-cut sandwich, and the turian version of a salad.

He ordered, grabbed the food and two bottles of water, and walked back to the elevator.

* * *

When he arrived on the second floor, the amount of doctors rushing around startled him. He wondered what was going on.

He shrugged it off and walked towards Shepard's room, only to find her door open.

He set the food down on the empty bed and stepped outside the room. Chaos.

"Code green-blue on the second floor. Code green-blue on the second floor."

Garrus ran to a nurse that jogged past him, "Code green-blue?"

"We have a combative individual with powerful biotics."

_Shepard.  
_

* * *

"Get away from me!" Her barrier was up, hand glowing with singularity. Needles filled with narcotics were in the shaking hands of doctors that surrounded her. She could wipe them out with a single move and they knew it.

Doctor Geny's neck was in her arm. Headlock. First lesson in self-defense training.

"Commander, please. Take a deep breath, release the doctor."

She shook her head, "No."

A small, tentative step made by the guy behind her. She turned around and smirked at him.

"You're forgetting who you're dealing with."

"Shepard!"

It was her love, her only light. She brightened when she saw him, but still kept her ground.

He was in between two doctors on the left of her.

"Garrus..." she smiled.

"Shepard...what are you doing?"

"What am I doing? What are you doing in civilian gear?"

He swallowed, "Shepard, what are you talking about?"

"This is a huge mission, Vakarian, and you're not prepared! I told you I needed you on my six to snipe these Harbinger bastards." She gestured to the crying doctor.

Garrus' legs locked, but he willed them forward, small, baby steps. "Shepard...we're not doing a mission right now." His voice was calm, soothing.

She growled and he took a step back.

"You're not in Command of the Normandy, we're not saving the world. We just got married, Shepard. We're civilians now."

She shuddered, "I would never fucking retire, Vakarian. This is...a trick, made by the Reapers." She gasped, pointing an accusing finger at the nurses and doctors surrounding her, "You're all fucking indoctrinated!"

She pushed her barrier out, knocking the circle of people on their backs. She threw the doctor at Garrus and rushed down the hall. Garrus set the doctor down and chased after Shepard.

"Shepard! Stop!"

"Get the fuck away from me, Harbinger!" She threw a warp at Garrus. He barely dodged it and she rushed into an empty elevator.

_Fuck._

He found the stairs and Liara walked through with a bouquet of flowers.

"Garrus?"

"Shepard thinks I'm Harbinger. Help me."

She dropped the flowers and they rushed down the stairs.

"Wrap her in a stasis, Liara." She nodded and they reached the first level.

Shepard was glowing in the middle of the room. Fury and panic filled her features, a hint of confusion in her eyes, her body shaking with rage.

"Liara." Garrus whispered, the asari summoned her energy and Shepard was covered in frozen blue.

* * *

_Why the fuck is he with her?_

In stasis, one is immobile, vulnerable, frozen. Shepard couldn't fucking stand it. She felt...open. Bullets could pierce the energy. She wouldn't be able to defend herself.

She didn't like feeling weak.

She was weak.

The stasis unwrapped around her in slow motion and she fell to the floor, gasping.

Garrus cautiously walked towards her, and she glared at him.

She was tired.

He wrapped his arms around her, gently lifted her up and she pulled away from him. He sighed and placed his talon on her shoulder. She shook her head and walked into the elevator.

"Shepard."

She smiled sadly at him. "I love you."

The elevator doors closed.

* * *

"Garrus, we're asking for your permission to begin a treatment of medicine on Shepard," Doctor Chakwas smiled at him.

Garrus sighed, glancing at Shepard through the window, "What kind of medicine?"

"Heavy doses of anti-anxiety medication and prazosin. What prazosin does is block out the way the brain responds to adrenaline, thus suppressing nightmares and flashbacks."

"It also lowers your response time to an possible attack. I've talked to Shepard about sleeping pills and she refuses because she doesn't want to be vulnerable. I don't know if she'd agree to taking that kind of medication, especially in a hospital."

She shook her head, "No. She'd be doing these treatments at home and coming back weekly to check on her progress. She'd also be engaging in cognitive and group therapy with other soldiers from Earth."

Garrus sighed, "What if those medicines don't work for her?"

"Then we try something else. We want the best for Shepard. We want her to recover. In a few weeks, if you don't see a noticeable improvement in her mood and sleeping patterns, contact me immediately."

He sighed, "Where do I sign, Karin?"

* * *

**A/N: **Yup. That is Chapter 10.

Did you like it? Hate it?


	11. Civilian

It was seven thirty in the morning when her eyes opened. She rolled over and placed her arm over Garrus' stomach. He lightly traced her arm with his talons.

"Hey," he murmured, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Hey yourself." She inhaled his scent.

"Sleep well?"

"All night. No nightmares."

He smiled and slipped his arm underneath her, holding her close as he examined her left hand.

"So, Mrs. Vakarian...what are your plans for today?"

Shepard shrugged, "You know, the usual. Go to the supermarket, buy bread and hold people hostage. Make everyone there suddenly feel so _bad_ for the way they treat their veterans and perhaps they'll pay more attention." She glanced up at him. His expression was undecipherable.

"Yeah, well...get some coffee too," he looked at her and smiled.

She smiled and kissed him. He laughed and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Coffee and bacon?"

She smiled. "Sounds lovely."

Shepard got up and slipped a pair of black sweats on. She walked to the bathroom and turned the faucet on. Hot water poured out, the steam rose and she sighed happily. She splashed water on her face, turned the faucet off and dried her face with a rag.

She smiled at herself in the mirror. She finally looked her age.

The scars of her former self were gone. Her eyes were bright, her skin glowed. The dark circles were less prominent. Her body was no longer achy.

She felt better. She looked healthier. The pills were working.

Shepard rolled her neck and walked out of the bathroom.

She smelt bacon. He stood over the stove, flipping two pieces of bacon with a spatula. She grinned and quietly walked behind Garrus and hugged him.  
He jumped a little and chuckled.

She planted a kiss on his throat and turned him around. He grinned and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He kissed her harder with intense passion, his odd shaped and bumpy tongue delicately rubbed hers.

She jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. He rubbed his talons under her thighs and kissed her neck. He placed her on the kitchen counter. She pulled her t-shirt off and he kissed her again.

Shepard moaned and he slipped her sweats off expertly with his thumbs while she slipped his night-suit over his head.

He leaned into kiss her again when his omni-tool beeped. He sighed.

"Ignore it," she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

Garrus sighed, slipped out from underneath her arms and pulled his omni-tool up.

"It's a message from the Hierarchy."

She blinked, "Do they need you _right now_?"

His blue eyes scanned the message, "Yeah, they do."

"Okay." She spoke breathlessly.

He leaned his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry."

She shrugged and forced a smile, "It's okay."

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. "I'll make it up to you tonight."

He walked off to their bedroom and Shepard followed, "Do you know when you'll be back?"

Garrus shook his head as he stepped into the shower. He washed, brushed his teeth, and was out in five minutes. He barely dried himself with a towel. Shepard handed him his suit. He was dressed and ready within two minutes. Shepard approached him and straightened his tie and gave him a quick kiss.

"Looking sharp, Primarch." She smiled, "Steak and wine tonight?"

He smiled and kissed her again.

"Sounds lovely, Shepard." He headed for the door, grabbing the keys to their skycar.

He paused and placed them in her hand, "I'll get a taxi. I love you."

"I love you too."

With one last kiss, he was out the door and Shepard was left alone.

She sighed as she stared at the empty apartment.

So this was civilian life. Dutiful wife waiting for her husband to come home from work. Their time together would be short meetings now. He had so much work to do. It'd be different if she had her job back...

She was just a simple housewife now.

Words couldn't describe how much she loathed it.

She ran to their bedroom, collapsed onto the bed they shared, and cried until she fell asleep.

* * *

Garrus sighed as the taxi approached the large condominium. He took a deep breath and paid the driver his creds.

_Calm down, Vakarian._

He stepped out and walked on the smooth gravel flooring, unsure of his footing. He rang the doorbell with an tentative talon.

Liara opened the door and smiled warmly at him.

"Hi Garrus."

* * *

**A/N: **I _love_ cliffhangers.

You may hate me for it. Please review :D

_BrokenEmber_


	12. Burden

Garrus sighed. "You sort of interrupted my day off with Shepard, Liara. Why'd you call me over?"

"I just wanted to know how Shepard's doing," she murmured, stepping towards the couch.

He narrowed his eyes, "Well then why didn't you call her and invite her over and ask her yourself?"

Liara scoffed, "The last time I was alone with Shepard, she punched me in the face."

He crossed his arms as she sat down.

"Shepard's better. The medicine is working."

She nodded, "That's great. It's nice knowing the treatment is working."

Garrus shifted his weight onto his left leg and sighed, "There's another reason I'm here, Liara. What is it? You don't call me up on a Sunday at eight in the morning just to chat."

Liara sighed, "I'm worried about you, Garrus. But my concern really lies with Shepard. I can imagine that being unable to work is killing her."

"Being documented as unstable unless on medication can really put a dent in your career options, Liara," he spoke with an languid tongue.

She stiffened and spoke cautiously, "I'm aware. I was just thinking that perhaps she could help young biotic children train or help children with parents that suffer from PTSD."

He nodded, "That might work. I don't know about children though. I don't think she could handle that right now. What she really needs to do is beg the Alliance for a pardon and get back into action. It's the only way she'd be fully cured."

Liara sighed, "Honestly, I just want her to get better. I know this is such a burden on you."

His mandibles twitched, "Burden?"

She placed her hands on his talons, "As the Primarch of Palaven, I can imagine it's incredibly stressful. It's a huge weight on your shoulders just on its own, but with a million eyes watching your relationship; testing, waiting for an explosion..."

He moved his talons away and narrowed his eyes, "What those million eyes need to realize is that they owe her their very existence. We could have lost Palaven, lost the Heirarchy. You could have completely lost Thessia, but the asari are rebuilding. Shepard didn't lose Earth or the Council. Nobody has any place to judge my _wife _when she almost died saving them."

Liara shifted an inch away from him, "They don't, but you know how entitled these people are. Everyone deserves something, everyone deserves what other people have and when things go wrong, they have to blame someone else."

She pulled her laptop up and showed him an news article.

"The batarians still want blood for what happened with the Alpha Relay, Garrus. They still want answers."

"Shepard served her time, Liara. She explained in court. She paid for her crimes. The batarians need to fuck off." His voice was cold.

"Hundreds of thousands of batarians died, Garrus. They think they're entitled to answers, just like the rest of this rebuilding galaxy. The Alliance doesn't want another war, Garrus."

Garrus growled, "If the batarians keep this shit up, we're being forced into one regardless."

She sighed, "Wrex says the krogan will stand by us."

"You've spoken to him?"

Liara nodded, "I spoke to him earlier this morning."

Garrus huffed, "Hmm. He didn't come to the wedding. I thought he forgot about us."

She smirked, "He's been busy with all those little krogan."

"I guess he has."

_"Well I guess there will be a bunch of little krogan running around."_

He sighed and stood, "I have to go make a few calls, Liara. Thanks for the information."

She nodded, "I still have a few sources, Garrus. If you need anything, let me know."

A nod and he was out the front door.

Liara sighed, walked to the kitchen, and poured herself a glass of wine.

* * *

Shepard walked through the aisles of the supermarket, basket in her hand. She was like a housewife. Going food shopping for herself and her husband. Soon she'd be going shopping and chatting with the other housewives about what was best for stain removal, the best cheap hair products, the best version of omni-gel.

The market had mainly dextro versions, for obvious reasons, but she was able to find a few things for herself; shampoo and conditioner, body wash, feminine toiletries and toilet paper.

She walked to the produce section and blinked at the odd looking fruit.

She picked a piece up. It almost looked like dragon-fruit...but it smelled odd. She shrugged and placed it in her cart and grabbed a few more.

A blonde woman approached her.

"Are you Commander Shepard?"

Those big blue eyes...she'd seen them before.

Shepard paused and nodded.

"My name is Margret Coats. My son was on Earth when the Reapers attacked."  
Every nerve froze. Those eyes.

That little boy.

Shepard swallowed, her hands shaking as she gripped the basket. Her throat was dry.

"I know you saved everyone you could. You did as much as possible, Commander."

She already heard the woman's next phrase in her head, "_But why didn't you save __my__ boy?_"

"My husband...he was an Major on Earth. I believe you met him."

Shepard nodded, unable to speak.

The woman grabbed Shepard's hand and squeezed it, "He died on Earth, on the way to the Crucible. I just...needed to see you're okay, to cope, to deal."

Shepard couldn't breathe, "Mrs. Coats...I.."

Margret smiled through her tears, "Thank you, Commander."

"I don't understand," Shepard spoke breathlessly, "Why are you thanking me?"

The blonde woman pulled her into a brief embrace. Shepard froze, tentative arms wrapping around her.

"You saved my life, Commander. You saved my sister's life, my parent's lives. If I had nobody...I'd be a complete mess, especially since another war is brewing."

Shepard pulled away, "War? What are you talking about?"

"The batarians, Commander."

Shepard nodded, "I need to get back to my husband, Mrs. Coats. Thank you."

The woman smiled and walked away. Shepard shook her head and walked to the check out line.

Fuck.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

**A/N: **I think this is on it's way to completion, my lovely fans. I'd say...two chapters left.

Thank you so much for all your support! :D

_BrokenEmber_


	13. Reprimanded

Shepard sighed, taking a small sip of wine. She wasn't allowed to chase her medication with alcohol but she needed to relax.

It was late. She pulled her omni-tool up. Ten P.M.  
She had put on the black dress Kasumi had given her for that Hock mission. It still fit wonderfully.

She took a deep breath and decided to start cooking. While she wasn't that great of a cook, she could make basic meals and she figured she could learn after she retired.

Her hands shook. She hadn't retired. She'd been...laid off.

Could they really do that to the savior of the galaxy?

Shepard reached for her glass and finished it, then turned back to the stove. Okay. Why was dextro steak so...odd smelling? She briefly wondered if it'd gone bad. She'd never cooked a dextro steak before.

She shrugged and turned the stove on, summoning her biotics to open the pantry above her. She pulled out two frying pans and placed them on the stove then used Pull to grab her wine. She'd cook her steak in wine and his in olive oil.

Yes. That'd work. Another sip. Dextro steaks were so thick. She wrinkled her nose and poured olive oil in the pan then tossed his steak on.

She truly hated Sundays. They were the worst day of the week.

A long sip. She promised herself she wouldn't drink anymore. But fuck it.

Bottle in her hand, she poured a small amount into the pan then tossed her steak on.

She smiled and took another swig straight from the bottle. He'd been gone all day.

All. Fucking. Day. He hadn't called her. Sent her a message via omni-tool.

Nothing. She pulled her omni-tool up.

10:35 P.M.

She glanced at the stove and grabbed two plates. She placed his steak on one, hers on the other. She poured him a glass of dextro wine.

Shepard took a deep breath and looked at her steak. She poked it with a fork, but decided she couldn't eat it. It was extremely rare, dripping with blood.

She ran her free hand along her scalp, nails scraping. She looked at her nails. Blood.

She grabbed the bottle and threw it against a wall. It shattered brilliantly.

Honestly.  
Fuck it.

She left the kitchen and walked into their bedroom, peeling the black dress from her body. She grabbed a pillow and a blanket, deposited them in front of their bedroom door, and closed it. Shepard slipped the heels off and crawled under the covers.

She closed her eyes and sleep quickly consumed her.

* * *

Her eyes flashed open. She turned her omni-tool on. 1 A.M. She sighed and slowly got up. She slipped her robe on and opened her door. The pillow and blanket were gone.

At least he was home. She peeked into the living room and the light was still on.

He sat on the couch, blankly flipping through channels on the vid-screen. He paused when he saw her and turned the screen off. He blinked.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't be furious, Garrus," she spoke vehemently, her stance cautious as she waited for his answer.

Garrus stood and stepped towards her. She narrowed her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I should have called," he murmured.

"You could have at least messaged-"Only then did she notice his swollen eye.

"Garrus!" Her angry demeanor turned concerned and confused as she lightly touched his face, "What happened?"

He sighed, "Don't be mad, Shepard...but I went to see Liara."

Her barrier immediately started glowing, "Did she do this to you?"

He placed his talons on her shoulders, "No, Shepard. It wasn't Liara." She sighed and sat down.

"Tell me what happened, Garrus," she took a deep breath and he sat next to her.

"She told me about an incoming batarian attack. That they wanted blood. Your blood."

Shepard shuddered and hugged herself and Garrus sighed.

"I still have my Reaper task force up and running and I told my top lieutenant to look into this. He received some report that the salarians were going to help the batarians."

"The salarians?" Shepard furrowed her brow, emerald eyes narrowed.

He smirked grimly, "The Dalatrass has placed a fairly large bounty on your head. She's still angry you cured the genophage."

Shepard laughed darkly, "Of course she is. Does anyone else want to kill me?"

"Do you remember Jona Sederis?"

Shepard sighed and placed her head in her hands, "Fuck."

He wrapped his talon around her, "All the people we lost on the Citadel and that maniac makes it out." He sighed, "She somehow got out and gathered the entire vorcha and yahg population. They apparently don't like you either. I don't really know why."

She nodded, "Well that's all fine and dandy, but you still haven't told me how you got that black eye."

He blinked, "Oh, that. I went to see Admiral Hackett after Liara gave me all this wonderful news. He told me that the Alliance is going to protect their only human Spectre from all of this, as he put it, 'Reaper backlash'."

She grunted.

"Then I went to see the Council. As Primarch, I'm the equivalent to an Ambassador, almost. I just handle the technicality of war. Valern, the salarian councilor, tried to tell me he had no idea what happened with the Dalatrass but he couldn't change her mind. He told me you should just give in, not face her "wrath." I told him to go to Hell. He made his vorcha bodyguard punch me. I called him a traitor, then I was kindly kicked outside."

She kissed him and wrapped her arms around him, "Oh Garrus..."

He held her close, "What's the human saying? Out of the pan into the oven?"

Shepard sighed, "Out of the frying pan, into the fire."

He chuckled, running his talons through her hair, "I don't know what we should do, Shepard. These fools owe you their existence and they still want to kill you."

She shrugged, "That's just my life, Garrus. There's not much I can do to change it now. People have always wanted to kill me."

He inhaled her scent and kissed her neck, "I'll try my best to help you. Is there anything you need to do?"

She nodded, "I desperately need a new set of armor and an unmodified pistol. I also need to set up a meeting with the damned Council."

Garrus smiled, "Alright. I can arrange that, Shepard."

She sighed and lightly touched his face, "I really don't know what I'd do without you, Garrus."

He chuckled, "There's still no Vakarian without Shepard. We'll deal with this like we always have- together."

They kissed passionately and she grinned.

Shepard's hands carefully unzipped his clothing and she pulled him back into their bedroom and shut the door behind them. She kissed him again and he slipped her underwear off. They collapsed onto the bed together.

In the aftermath of their love-making, Shepard placed her arm across his chest as her barrier glowed euphorically.

She sighed contentedly and rolled onto her side. He wrapped his arm around her, mouth by her ear.

He whispered softly, "Regardless of what happens, Shepard...I will never leave your side. I'm completely yours. I'd be nothing without you." He kissed her.

She smiled against his mouth and closed her eyes.

_I know, Garrus. I know._

* * *

The next morning, Shepard woke and sighed silently. She looked at the sleeping turian next to her and smiled and placed a kiss on his scarred face.

He didn't stir. She chuckled softly and rolled her neck around as she slipped out of bed. She slipped her N7 sweats and tanktop under a hoodie, pushed socks onto her feet and slipped black running shoes on.

She quietly walked to their bathroom and grabbed a hair tie and brushed her hair into a high ponytail.

She hadn't exercised in months. She honestly didn't know what would happen, but fuck, she needed to do something.

Shepard checked her omni-tool. It was six A.M. He would be asleep for another two hours at most. She stretched lightly, hearing cracks and crinkles in her joints. She wasn't the most limber person in the galaxy; wearing armor for more than half her life put a damper on that, but she could touch her toes and do the splits.

She zipped the hoodie all the way up, sent a note to Garrus' omni-tool explaining the concept of jogging on a treadmill, grabbed a bottle of water and quietly locked the door behind her.

Their apartment building had their own private gym and she honestly wondered why she hadn't been to it. It would be a good way to relax without well, having sex. She smiled and jogged up the small staircase that led to the gym.

She slipped her ear buds in, turning the volume up as the wireless connection played her play list from her omni-tool. It was music in the native quarian language, given to her as a wedding present from Tali, that was meant as a form of therapy to lovers. Honestly, it was beautiful sounding.

Shepard smiled again and walked towards the gym, spotting two turian guards that were heavily armed.

"Good morning, Mrs. Vakarian," the turian with white clan markings on his face spoke softly.

"Commander." The other saluted.

She nodded, "At ease." She smiled widely, "Good morning gentlemen. I'm assuming you two are here as my bodyguards?"

A nod from both.

She laughed, "Okay. Well, I'll probably be here a while."

"It's fine, Mrs. Vakarian. We're here until noon."

Shepard smiled and walked into the gym.

She made a mental checklist in her head; treadmill, weight training, punching bag, treadmill, biotic training, cooldown, treadmill.

She smiled and stepped on the treadmill and turned it on. The holographic interface told her she was underweight. She sighed and ignored it, pressing the button for a steady running speed. Shepard turned the volume up on her omni-tool and took a swig from her water.

She started sprinting and the treadmill adjusted to it. Running.

Running.

She had been running her whole life.

Running from her past, from the present. She ran from Garrus.

She ran from everyone that cared about her. She looked at the treadmill and it read two and a half miles.

She was almost out of breath when she slammed a hand on the red button that stopped the treadmill.

Another swig of water.

Steadying breath. Water. Inhale. Exhale. Slow inhale. Slow exhale.

Her muscles stopped pulsating.

Shepard shook her head and sat on the bench press. She started off light, twenty-five pounds then increased to forty five. She weighed about 112 now. She was 5'7". She needed to gain ten pounds in order to be deemed fit enough to join the Alliance again. Thirty two lifts with the forty five pound bar. She smiled.

Garrus would be impressed.

Her hands slipped on the weight.

She threw up a barrier and lifted her hand, using stasis on the weight. She groaned. Headache.

Shepard quickly grabbed the weight and put it back in the slot and sighed.

She ripped a few pieces of her tanktop and wrapped the cloth around her knuckles as she approached the punching bag. She growled and threw a punch, her fist glowing with biotic energy. Another punch. A roundhouse kick.

She remembered fighting with other cadets in basic training. She had no idea what she was doing and got the living shit beaten out of her. She hadn't discovered her biotics yet, had no way to master them. She had been trained like a soldier. Sniper and assault rifle training, hand-to-hand combat training. She ranked number one when it came to long range shots. She truly didn't know why carrying a sniper rifle decreased her recharge speed. It made her vulnerable and she didn't like it at all.

She preferred her biotics to the conventional weapons, but she really liked the Paladin. It was accurate and handy, yet very powerful and light.

Shepard was dancing around the punching bag, throwing punch after punch after punch. Her tanktop was drenched in sweat, her hair slick in the ponytail. She counted a total of twenty punches and twenty kicks and fifteen knee exercises.

She clicked her omni-tool on and checked the time. It was seven-thirty now. She sighed and told herself another half hour and she'd be done.

Yeah.

Half an hour.

She could accomplish so much in half an hour.

* * *

Garrus' blue eyes snapped open. His arms felt for her, but she wasn't there. No, no. She wasn't there. She hadn't been there. No.

It'd been two years.

He threw the covers off of him and looked at his omni-tool. No messages. It was almost eight A.M. He groaned. He'd slept too long. He'd made himself vulnerable.

Garrus growled and rolled onto the floor, shuffling for his armor. He couldn't find it. No sniper rifle. His fucking Mantis wasn't under his mattress. He froze and analyzed his surroundings.

He took a deep breath. He wasn't on Omega.

Shepard was alive. He was in their apartment. He was Primarch. They were married. She lived through the Reaper War.

_Fuck, Vakarian. Get it together.  
_  
He walked shakily to the bathroom and turned the faucet on, splashing his face with cold water.

He heard the front door open and close.

"Shepard?" he cautiously called out.

"Garrus?" She placed her keys on the coffee table and walked into their bedroom.

He stood there, shaking and wet.

She blinked and pointed a thumb back, "I went to the gym...I sent you a message."

"Goddamnit, Shepard..." he rubbed his eyes and sighed.

Shepard pulled her hoodie off and mumbled, "Sorry I worried you."

"Worried me? Shepard, I thought you...were..." his voice faltered.

She sighed and gently touched his face, "I'm right here, Garrus."

He grabbed her hand and sighed, "Just...don't leave without my permission. You need to have escorts with you."

Shepard narrowed her eyes, "Permission? Escorts? I saw the little troop guarding the gym, Garrus. I think a personal escort would be..." she paused, "a bit much."

He shook his head and placed his talons on her shoulders, "You need protection, Shepard, especially now that the batarians are after you."

She sneered and shook his talons off, "So now I've become incapable, I need a bodyguard?"

Garrus growled, "I didn't say that. No. It would just ease my mind knowing someone was watching your six while I'm unable to."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I don't appreciate being treated like a fragile creature, Garrus. I don't like having my abilities being reprimanded by the Primarch."

He sighed, "I'm not rebuking your abilities, Shepard. I'm just offering my professional admonition."

She scoffed, "I'm not so sure if this is professional, Garrus, or if you just want to keep me out of the way."

"Out of the way?" The words sounded hollow and selfish.

"You don't want me to get hurt after the war again and regress to what I was before this medication."

Garrus narrowed his eyes, "I don't think that will ever happen again, Shepard."

Her voice was almost a whisper. "You never know what could traumatize a person permanently."

He almost wanted to laugh, "The amount of shit you've seen, Shepard...would've killed a normal person."

Silence hung in the air for a second too long.

She closed her eyes, "It's just.." She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to word it. Hell, she still didn't even know what she was feeling.  
She sighed and sat down on their bed, "I'm worried I'm..." She looked at the floor and took a deep breath, "not really..._me._"

He got on his knees and grabbed her hands, "I know you are, Shepard. You're completely yourself. I know you are."

Her breathing grew shaky, "What if the medication isn't working, Garrus? What if the treatments aren't enough? What if the Alliance never accepts me-"

"Stop," he whispered, squeezing her hands tighter, "Stop right there, Shepard."

She looked at him with tear filled eyes, biting her lip to keep the sobs from emerging.

He kissed her hand, "They will accept you. Because you're the only one that can do this." He rose and kissed her lips, murmuring against her mouth, "I believe in you. I'm just sorry if I never tell you that enough."

* * *

**A/N: **I know I took a long time to update and I apologize for that.

Forgive me? :)

Please review and be honest. What'd you think?

I love you all. I promise there will be more to come.

_BrokenEmber_


	14. Supernova

**Author's Notes: **I am so sorry it took me such a long time to update, Please don't think I forgot about my fans, I just got so busy after Christmas.  
Please, enjoy this chapter and comment on the good and bad and ugly. :)

_BrokenEmber_

* * *

She'd forgotten how much she loved the stars. How easily they calmed her, of course, was not as great as their meaning. She was sixteen when she first fell in love with the stars, when she first discovered their true meaning. They shined brightly, died out, and became a supernova.

They were just like her. She had shined brightly, fallen into nothingness when she died, then cemented her nonexistence after defeating the Collectors. She had expanded and collapsed and been ripped into shreds, with Garrus there as her savior. He pulled he up when she needed air. He had her six when she needed a backup and was there for her indefinitely throughout it all.

She was a soldier, a perfect biotic warrior that relished in the thrill and fight that paid for the two years she lost. Cerberus was the organization that loved that about her and gave her another chance.

She defeated the Reapers, wiped them off the map and was still being accused and condemned. Shepard was due to her final trail with the batarian hegemony in a few hours. She glanced at her omni-tool and sighed.

What more was there to discuss? They wanted a fight; who the fuck did they think they were dealing with? They fired at her, she'd shove their heads up their asses with a biotic warp. They decide to throw the vorcha at her with flamethrowers? She'll greet them joyfully with her pistol and biotic shockwave.

She scoffed as she read the datapad. Liara had sent her information on what she was up against before her conference with the batarians. She didn't really know if even the best lawyer in the galaxy could deter these assholes.

She was sick of playing nice and trying to gain acceptance and peace. These fuckers didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve her.

None of them did.

* * *

Her dress blues were neatly pressed, her boots perfectly polished. Garrus stood in the doorway of their bedroom, arms crossed, looking at her with thoughtful reverence. She was an angel, a warrior goddess in human form and was still getting buried by this political bullshit.

She slipped her black boots on and pulled the suit on over her white spaghetti strap. He smiled at her and she warmly smiled back.

She decided on a tight military bun for her dark tresses and clear lipgloss.

Shepard smiled at her husband, "What's on your mind?"

Garrus grinned, shaking his head, "Nothing, nothing. Just relieved...this might finally be over."

"I hear that," she sighed and turned to him, "I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I really don't want to face the hegemony again."

"I thought you couldn't be charged with the same crime more than once, Shepard."

She nodded, "I'm not really being charged with anything. I'm just the representative for humanity and the Alliance. I'm going to tell them to back down or we will fight back."

"And you'll have the Primarch standing next to you, along with the Krogan clan chief."

She smiled, "Do you know when Wrex will arrive?"

He turned his omni-tool on, "He said by one. It's 12:30 now."

Shepard sighed, "I hope he brings Bakara with him. She may offer words of wisdom."

Garrus walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. "You'll be fine, Shepard."

She nodded briskly and pulled away from his touch, "What are you wearing?"

He smiled and pointed to his traditional blue armor and Shepard rolled her eyes.

"Of course."

"You know me so well, Shepard."

She paused and turned towards him, placing a hand on her hip, "I'd hope so. I did marry you after all."

He grinned and kissed her.

* * *

Wrex sat at their dining table, sniffing the air, looking around, sarcastically unimpressed.

"So this is the place the Primarch of Palaven got you, Shepard?"

Bakara stepped on his foot and handed him their baby krogan.

Shepard smiled, "What's her name? I feel like a shitty godmother if I don't even know my godchild's name."

The female krogan smiled, unveiled, still an air of mystery to her fluid-like movements, "We decided to name her after your first name."

Garrus slipped two glasses of water to the krogan couple and sat across from Wrex.

"How's Turchanka?" Shepard's voice was fluttery, her undertones sounded worried to Garrus.

Wrex grunted, chugging the glass, "Radioactive, as usual. But the krogan are rebuilding, Shepard and we have you to thank for that. It's a shame these idiots don't understand that."

Shepard chuckled, gripping Garrus' talon, "It seems that no matter how much you save the galaxy, the peace doesn't last and someone still wants you dead."

The male krogan's red eyes poured into Shepard's emerald, "Do you regret not taking the salarian deal?"

Shepard looked at the baby krogan wrapped in a fluffy maroon blanket and smiled sadly, "Not a chance in Hell, Wrex. This political bullshit will fade. If the salarians fight us, they're seceding from the Council and will forever be blacklisted. I don't know why they're willing to take that risk."

Wrex smiled an aged, darkened smiled, "They hate the krogan that much, Shepard."

Garrus cleared his throat. "Plus, the batarians are just hired hands. It's pathetic really."

Shepard sighed, "Since the Reapers didn't wipe out the yagh, Sederis was able to get her dirty blue hands on them and somehow persuade them to join her fucking army."

Wrex scoffed, "The yagh don't scare us krogan, Shepard. We're not squishy like you humans."

Shepard grunted and looked at her omni-tool, "I suppose we should get going."

* * *

They arrived at the trial fifteen minutes early. The Hegenomy seemed unimpressed.

Shepard stood, with her hands behind her back, absorbing the hatred and acid that engulfed their words for the Alpha Relay incident. She stood tall and strong, and when she was allowed to speak, she didn't falter. Her answers were cool, calm, collected and it infuriated the Dalatrass even more.

"Do you not agree that if you hadn't acted so rashly, the rest of the galaxy might not hate humanity because of you?"

Shepard pointed a glowing finger, "Listen, you pompous cun-"

Garrus placed his talon on her shoulder and stepped forward. "What Shepard means to say, is that most of the galaxy were for the genophage cure." Garrus spoke calmly, "If the genophage hadn't been cured, Earth, Sur'Kesh and Palaven would be empty craters."

The Dalatrass scoffed, "I highly doubt that." She gazed cruelly upon Wrex, "Ah, Urdnot Wrex."

"Dalatrass Linron," Wrex spat her name like acid.

"Let me ask you something, Wrex," she began walking down the stairs, towards them, with two batarian guards behind her. "If your bloodbrother, Wreav, had lived, do you honestly think he would've allowed any negotiating?"

Wrex growled.

The dalatrass smirked, stepping directly in front of Shepard, "The krogan are naturally violent, Commander. If you had paid attention in history class on Mindoir, you might have learned that."

Shepard bit the inside of her cheek until it bled before she spoke, "If you're basing your argument from facts from the past, this entire trial is invalid. You have no right to hold the krogan responsible when it was your kind that taught them violence."

"You must understand why we did what we did, Commander. The fact you changed history in one day without knowing all the facts first proves just how horrible your judgment is. Your own scientist, Mordin Solus, died under your command curing something that didn't have to be cured. I'm sure you regret siding with the krogan, especially knowing another war and more blood will be on your hands."

Shepard wanted to fucking shoot her, right between the eyes, but remained stoic. "If that's the way it has to be, Dalatrass, don't expect humanity to come up short. Good day." She nodded and began walking towards the door, Wrex and Garrus following.

The Dalatrass called out after her, "Mark my words, Commander, you will regret siding with the krogan. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but their true nature will show through and you won't be able to stop it."

Unable to resist the urge anymore, Shepard turned around and said coldly, "It appears your true nature is revealed, Dalatrass, and I am unable to stop it. You want to wipe out an entire race and that is unjustifiable. You might as well be a fucking Reaper."

Without another word, Shepard left the room before she could get a chance to blow it up.


	15. Final Preparations

Shepard sighed.

She didn't really know what to think about the fleet that was right in front of her. Coordinating a fleet from the Citadel seemed to be a difficult task, but she had done the impossible already.

She looked to her right and saw Garrus speaking with a turian commander.

She looked to her left and saw Tali speaking with another quarian.

"Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Rannoch," Shepard smiled and walked towards her.

Tali's long hair flowed past her shoulders, her sharp clear eyes open in excitement, "Shepard. I'm glad you let me be a part of this."

Shepard grinned, "Tali, I couldn't do this without you. I didn't feel like the krogan and turians would be enough. They've amassed quite an army in preparation for our arrival." Shepard pulled out her omni-tool. "The entire salarian fleet, the batarian Hegemony, Sedeiris' private army of mechs and she's corrupted the yagh."

"Keelah, she's that influential? What's the population of Parnack?"

Shepard shrugged, "I'm not sure, but the Reapers left them alone. They didn't want to tango with those bastards, so I'm assuming there are enough to make us worried. Plus, thanks to our Shadow Broker, I've learned the army on Sur'Kesh rises by the day. Last I heard, there was 7.3 billion willing to fight for their Daltrass."

Tali grinned, placing her hands behind her back,"Well regardless of the odds, Shepard, the Flotilla, and the Heavy Fleet are behind you."

Shepard smiled and patted her on the shoulder, "I appreciate it, Tali." She turned to Garrus, "What's the status on those cruisers?"

Garrus chuckled, "About four hours late."

"Damn it," Shepard mumbled, "Any word from Wrex?"

Garrus checked his omni-tool, forwarding a message to his wife, "He said the shaman held some kind of ritual for all the soldiers before letting them loose."

She cocked an eyebrow as she read the details, "Ritual?"

"In case they don't make it."

Shepard sighed, "I hate throwing them back in the fire, Garrus, but we needed the krogan."

He placed his talon around her waist, "Shepard, Wrex understands. Bakara understands. Please, don't worry."

She smiled and looked at her omni-tool, reading an incoming message from Liara. She pulled up the video.

"Shepard, it's Liara." She seemed out of breath, pale, rushing.

Shepard gently pulled away from Garrus, slipping her headphones in.

"Liara, what's going on?"

"I'm being hunted by that crazy asari. The few sources I have left are looking into it, trying to pinpoint her location, but she was able to hack into my database."

"Liara, you need to get the hell over here. Sederis won't go after you if she knows what's good for her."

Liara seemed to laugh, "Yeah, okay, Shepard. You may have stopped the Reapers, but another war is brewing and she's leading it. She apparently is very persuasive."

Shepard grinned, "Well let's put a bullet in her skull. It's very simple, Liara. Just get here as soon as possible."

"Right."

"Shepard out."

Garrus seemed to be raising an eyebrow plate and Shepard glanced at him.

"What?"

"So...you two have made up?" His voice was low.

She rolled her eyes, "No reason to hold grudges, Garrus. I'm already 30-something. I think."

He smiled and kissed her head, "Whatever you say, Commander."

Admiral Hackett appeared before the group with James Vega and Steve Cortez. The two soldiers stepped next to Shepard and Garrus glared at James.

"Commander Shepard, I believe that it's my right to repossess you of your ship, considering I'm the Alliance Admiral here."

Shepard smiled, walking towards the blue-eyed man, extending her hand. "Thank you Admiral."

He smiled back at her, "I also came here to tell you that after this war is over, I'm stepping down and giving you my position."

"Admiral, sir? Are you sure I'm qualified?" Shepard balked.

Hackett scoffed, "Shepard, if I had any say in this, you'd be running the damned Alliance, but since that position strips you of actual hands-on duty, I figured Admiral is your best bet. You still get to shoot things, just with bigger guns and a fleet."

Shepard chuckled and nodded, "Admiral, I'd be honored."

Garrus slipped his three awkward talons between her fingers and she squeezed his talon.

"Primarch of Palaven and SpectreAdmiral Shepard."

She grinned, "I've been Commander for over three years. I guess it's time for a change."

Hackett nodded, "I'll be leaving to coordinate the fleets, Shepard. Let me know when it's time for battle, _Admiral_."

As soon as Hackett disappeared down the walkway, Garrus leaned in to kiss her.

"Admiral Shepard sounds pretty, uhm, sexy."

She rolled her eyes, "Primarch Vakarian, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Until it works. I honestly can't wait until we get back on the Normandy, Shepard. The things we can do in your Captain's cabin."

Shepard rolled her eyes and pulled him closer. "Now you're talking."

Tali rolled her eyes and whistled before exclaiming loudly, "Hey, bosh'tets, get a room!"

"As soon as we're able, Tali," Garrus mumbled, glancing back at the quarian.

The Normandy was docked, shiny and brand new.

"SR-3?" Shepard asked quietly and Garrus nodded.

"It's apparently even bigger. Joker's still flying, of course. So it's not all that different."

Shepard looked down, "Except everyone I've been with from the beginning have their own fleets to command."

Garrus smiled sadly, "Things change, Shepard. But I'll be there, with you, until the end."

"There's still no Shepard without Vakarian, huh?"

Garrus wrapped his talon around her waist, "Not a chance in Hell."

* * *

A/N: Oh I'm sad.

This is it, my lovelies. This is the final chapter. I will be starting a new story, a prequel to Unraveling and Perseverance. It will expand through all three games, with deleted scenes and new missions, but beginning on Mindoir with Shepard's teenage years and perhaps even Garrus' teenage years on Palaven.

I love you all. Thank you for reading and keeping up with this story. It means so much to me, knowing it's entertaining you.

Please, if there are any requests I can fulfill, PM me and I'll write you anything. :)

_BrokenEmber _


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